sometimes i feel totally incompetent and i begin to question if i've picked the correct career. am i nurse material? will i get it all down? the iv drips, the gloving and gowns???
the world happenings have me a little stressed. add to that schoolwork, exams, spring 2002 pre-registration, only having 3 classes left to graduate, $$$ for the tuition for practicums...keeping my apartment in order, taking ms. uti cat(urinary tract infection) to the vet, working on the weekends to make up for time i'm not at work, i feel the pressure, pressure, pressure....
i need to go home. see my parents. make sure they're alright. i need to tuck myself in a warm kitchen, coffee mug in my hand, morning's cool fingers lifting blushing curtain hems...i need to hear the singsong spanish coming from my mother's lips, how they settle on my shoulders, massage tension away...
and when the siblings file in, check in, start the chaos rolling, nephews and baby nieces, ballsy teenagers, daddy telling his infamous stories...i sit there, in the middle of it all, of spoons passing over head, of plates clicking and clacking, of virginia ham slices crowned with pineapple, punctuated with fat cherries, and when the baseball talk starts and brothers argue like hens, when mom and sisters gossip about the neighborhood, when i'm asked how i've been...
i'll sit in the middle of it all and purr like a contented well-fed cat...