i want another.
say you dream of me.
dream of your brother.
oh, the stars shine so suspiciously
for we three."
Patti Smith
That Ghost still haunts me, at times. He is no longer threatening, just
a little ghost. Reminds me where I've been and how far I have come. He
doesn't have any power, never really did. I romanced the ghost into life, he
never was real.
When I knew it was over, I wondered what I had done wrong. stupid girl.
It was a crazy time. Doesnt matter. I was in love with what he could be,
not what he was.
I truly dont want to presume anything. I stumbled onto all of this quite
innocently (be glad to relay the details if you care). I just heard your
heart, and felt a strange sistership.
I havent seen him in several years and until this, didnt choose to remember,
but a woman remembers pain, and yours is familiar. Although, I hope that
doesnt sound that I am minimizing it. I am not. Write if you want, I
understand either way. I am not trying to start a club. You have a
beautiful journal and I can only echo your fans- you touch my heart. I had a
canvas to fill during it all, and dogs that listened to it all. I, however
dont know if I was nearly as honest with myself as you are. Again, I did not
mean to overstep, and if I have, I apologize. Quite simply, I thank you for
sharing your diary- I hope that through it all you find a safe place. I cant
tell you how much the words meant to me. In many ways it validated feelings
that I struggled to forgive in myself. That is a gift that you gave to me
and I always send thank you notes.
He is foolish. I knew that for myself at one time and after reading your
words, your heart-
I am confirmed.
A
jan 2001
"you say you want me.
i want another, baby.
you say you wish for me.
wish for your brother.
oh, the dice roll so deceptively
for we three."