a change of heart. i need to let go...make peace with the past (both good and bad). i've had my share of crappy bosses and terrible job situations: the doc who still owes me over $1000 dollars worth of overtime (i know i will never see this money). the workplace that allowed my car to be vandalized (i quit because i was becoming concerned over personal safety). the job which slowly drained the life and spirit out of me by allowing office politics to rule the workplace (even though it sent me into therapy, which could be contrued as a bad thing, the therapist was awesome and helped me turn a bad situation into a catalyst for important changes in my life such as learning how to drive and finishing school). the employer that fired me over the phone...you spared me the tedium of private practice with limited skill usage and cemented my desire to work in a teaching environment which landed me in a "sweet" employment situation in the most well known city in the world (New York City) in a state of the art veterinary hospital. the employment situation where i drove over 150 miles to interview during a time when the gas prices were steadily increasing and my employment situation didn't pay very well...(this doctor never offered to reimburse me on the gas, never even sent me a Thank you for driving so far to interview and never bothered to tell me i didn't get the job) again, i ended up getting hired by a hospital that saw "possibility" over "experience", they took a chance on me and i'm making double what i would have made in bumfuck upstate ny. while i may hem and haw about stressful work situations, i am still grateful for the opportunities that my current work place has continuously provided me.
i am a good nurse. despite. because.
i am a good woman. despite. because.
thank you...to the doctor who put me above my lack of health insurance
thank you...to the therapist who helped me see how strong i really am
thank you...to all of the bad bosses/co-workers, you helped me know what i didn't want in my life
thank you...to all of the crappy boyfriends who did/said mean spirited things, the simple fact that i didn't end up with you is testament that i value who i am as a person and woman. deep down i always knew i deserved better.
thank you...to all the animals who remind me that there IS such a thing as unconditional love. you make me laugh, cry, and work harder... you make it easy for me to care. even after you bite and scratch me. i still care. didn't realize that i needed you as much as you needed me.
thank you...to the few friends i have. while i can count you all on one hand, you are all the highest examples of humanity. you have always chosen to see me, the real me.
today i burned two letters i've been holding on to for about 15 years.
felt good.