kneeling on a sunday morning in a dark pew. hoping to catch a glimpse of the heavenly, the wonderful in you. it's all a long prayer and sometimes i blaspheme. i shake my fist and punch cold air, i let the bad "u" vowel float up like a helium balloon...
i take a long train ride in my head. i feel the sun's warmth penetrating through the dirty window pane. i sit with hands folded in my lap, a catholic school girl rule hammered and tatooed onto my brain. i listen for soft piano playing, for the lone sexy horn, i try to picture great words coming from your mouth, but that picture never quite pans out...
back from the dreamy dreamy. snap to it, paint sharp edges. of proposals and promises, contracts and more bullshit papers that only function to kill trees and make birds homeless. stuffed suits and suit dresses, with perfectly lacquered hair, smile reporting tragedy and here's the weather now...
if only i had proof that you broke down a little. that hot tears stream down your face for at least 5 minutes. that you thought about the little frozen doggy or baby washed ashore. that you realize the universe's brilliance when it unfolds a flower...