it should be cool october, leaves falling would be just fine, overcoats and buttoned up sweaters, turtleneck warming my neck...the little bit of flesh that remembers your lips, and how goose pimply it turns at the thought...
you've been the interruption on the journey to myself. and how many times did i drag my feet to the gym only to face them towards my little space, no energy for health, but much to set those tears going. or to sit dumbfounded with a blank stare at the little screen that ignited trouble, and made it last for a year...
had a dream last night that mommy passed away. and i woke up to reality, and how life is just bittersweet. i've always thought it better to be alone, no mourning for my lover, no losing him to earth. and it's all silly now. they'll always be someone to take that space. i'll eventually lose my sweet parents, i'll eventually lose myself...
i am not ready. i really never am. to break ties with people who've twisted up my life.