i don't want to talk, i just want to go back to blue
feeds me when i'm hungry and quenches my thirst
loves me when i'm lonely and thinks of me first...
ah lil miss, you'll stretch your wings the following week, spend time to sit and think. you'll be the lazy girl plopped on the couch, open faced book bobbing gently on your breathing chest...
you'll read the same line a zillion times, and start over again, you'll plant catpaws between your breasts and stay out of reach of rough tongue and cat breath...
you pack and unpack all the letters received. tie them up with the satin bow, and smile at the misery.
it's times like this i just smile at the incredible pain i'm in. how i envy the duck feathered pillow that props your incredibly fat head. i smile at the mailman, and the hellion barking his lungs, i say good day to the store clerk, bye bye to the security guard, i walk with a bounce, the hem of skirt tickling my thighs... i say thank you to the bus man, for the air conditioning...
but all along i'm raw and restless. i want to go away. i want to nestle in the corner, forget...forget...forget. and it's not even you anymore, i'm clinging to the past...when i felt like a sweet girl, fresh and clean...
and if you count for every year, you add to your life one by one, this last one has added 20, twenty to this one...