and i help. i see. i mutter under my breath, "is this a sign God?", "is this my kick in the pants?"
today is hot. humid. full of aloneness, with it's sticky mess all over my skin.
i sit. i consider. i carry the garbage to the front of the house. i lie down. i consider. i nod off into the familiar world of you only now you just annoy me and i want you out of my head for good...
it's late now. the day is gone. i'll be tired in the morning. i'll fight not to get out of bed...squeezing that last 5 minutes, pretending i have time, closing my eyes shut and holding my pillow...
and another day will come. i'll get through it. and it'll go. just like the so many that walk through the door never to be seen again. and i know they are all out there. living, breathing, walking through the day filled with worries or joys or hatred or depression or lustfullness or whatever. the days...they are testament to how much time i've wasted, how much i've done, how i've let moments slip through my fingers, how the sand inevitably will stop...
young and fresh, full of dazzling sunshine and hard rainstorms. soon, it'll give way to changing leaves and long goodbyes. i'm learning to just get by on, "see you soon"...