Today was my first clinic. For the next six weeks I have to return to the hospital Tuesday mornings for bloodwork and a physical examination. If all goes well, they'll start stepping it back to every two weeks, then every three, then every ... well, you get the idea. Today's trip was quite taxing, since it's the first big thing I've done since getting home, and I've been "off" all day.

My appetite still isn't back, but I'm managing to get some food down. I just have to consider it part of the prescribed medications, and swallow accordingly. My gut still feels full from lunch though and I have no idea how I'm going to pull dinner off yet. This may be the first time I skip the yogurt I'm supposed to try and have with every meal and just drink a Boost.

I seem to have built a little web of misery around myself that I'm finding it hard to break out of. I'm disgusted by myself, but can't seem to find the gumption to change things yet. If I could just get a good night's sleep, I know things would look better.

Oh yeah. I almost forgot. Happy Birthday to me. I've never had a birthday that felt less like one.