Start working with The Minion to train him as your back up, instead of The Mouth.The Big Boss
*blink* OK, what's she been telling BB now? There is nothing she does for me when I'm not in. Not one blessed thing. (There ain't much she does for me when I'm in either, for that matter.) I had received a similar request from The BB early this year, and at that point went to The Mouth and tried to find out then what she was doing for me. In response, I had a huge pile of paper dumped on me that she had accumulated during my disability. Mind you, she'd done no work other than accumulate the paper. At that point I was informed she had nothing else of mine on my desk, and she was working on nothing further outstanding for me. So I figured that she and I had parted ways, save for a few items that she refused to relinquish and which subsequently turned around and bit her on the ample butt. (see obliquely worded entries from the second week of this year for additional murky details). It would seem that The Big Boss thought otherwise. To my mind, there is only one reason why The BB would think otherwise. The Mouth has allowed him to think otherwise. I tire of being the patsy for that.
When I'm in pain, subtlety ceases to be a strong point. "I got an email from BB this morning. He wants me to train The Minion to be my back-up when I'm off. I wasn't aware that you were still doing anything for me when I was out. Let me know what remains to be addressed, and I'll get it off your desk."
"Well," The Mouth responded, "I'm still taking care of the disposal logs when you're gone.
Huh? The Minion reconciles those. He even does those when I'm in. "What logs are you referring to?" I asked.
"You know. The ones over in your mail box every day."
Oh. She means the raw data reports. But there's nothing to do with those except file them. "What are you doing with those? Those don't need any work at all."
"Well, I leave them on your desk."
She's picking up my mail and reporting it as doing work for me when I'm out???! "You mean you're picking up my mail? But I thought we did that for each other as a courtesy anyhow." (I didn't have tact in me this morning.)
I waited for her response.
"Well, I do other things as well."
Go on, what other things...? I remained silent. The Mouth doesn't handle silence well. She likes filling the void with sound. When it became obvious I was waiting for examples, she continued.
"For example, when crisis situations come up. I have to stand in for you. Like when we had that break down in the plant and had to destroy about a ton of product. I had to witness it being destroyed."
OK, this is reasonable. However, this is NOT an every day occurrence, thank the Fates. "Why did you have to be the one to witness product destruction?" I asked. "The Minion should be able to do this."
"It was after hours," she responded. "There was no one else around."
Alright. It falls to whoever is around to do that sort of thing after hours. I can't train The Minion to do stuff when he's absent, much as I'd like to. "That's just something you have to do if there's no one else around, though. We've all had to do that. It isn't something you got stuck with because I was on vacation."
"Well, there's other crisis stuff that I get caught up with when you're gone that needs a manager."
*Crisis stuff that requires a manager. * Ah, there's the key. "I can't train The Minion to be a Manager. He doesn't have the authority right now, and unless you're recommending him for a promotion, he can't sign off as a manger. I personally don't feel he's ready for that yet, but if you think he is I can approach BB on the issue."
"No, don't do that. "
"Is there anything else you're doing for me in my absence?"
"No, not really."
I gave her my biggest, most naive look, complete with a side of ingenuous perplexed wide-eyed friendliness. "I'm confused then. I'm not sure what The BB thinks you're doing for me that I need to train The Minion on." I know exactly what The BB thinks you're doing for me, and I'm tired of you making yourself look like the hero at my expense. "I'll email him and ask for further clarification." I'll email him and play dumb, telling him that I spoke to you and you assured me that there is nothing you do for me other than pick up my mail.
"No, don't do that. I'll talk to him when he gets back." (The BB is on vacation this week.)
"I'll email him. If it was important enough for him to email me while he was on vacation, it's important enough that I get this cleared up as soon as possible." I then walked out of her office and went the two doors down to my own office. I sat down and started typing. The Mouth followed hard on my heels.
"He probably just sent that out as a blanket request," said The Mouth. (The email was addressed to me and to me only.) "I was telling him last week that I was getting pulled all over the plant, and he must be trying to put a stop to that.
I'll bet. "I'll write him and let him know that you aren't getting any additional work from me then. That should help him get a handle on the problem areas." She kept talking, but I was typing out my response to The Big Boss and didn't listen too closely.
BB:The Mouth is doing nothing for me while I'm out any more except for dropping mail on my desk (which I can certainly ask her to stop if you'd like). Per your request early this year, I'd already reassumed the few things that were left on The Mouth's desk.
The only things she could ever get involved with are problem situations that require the attention of a manager from Technical Services. These are extraordinary things that occur on less than a monthly basis, such as when **********. Most items, such as ****** reports and ***** The Minion has already been covering when I'm not here. A few certain things that require a veterinarian, such as *****, Dr. USDA deals with without involving The Mouth.
Potentially, The Mouth could have to deal with NR's, but I don't believe that she's ever had to do one. The Minion is not a manager, and can't sign off on those. As a rule, The Gal I Report to Who is On Maternity Leave At the Moment takes care of these in my absence, but Somebody Else With Experience has been covering this when I'm not available since GIRTWIOMLATM been out.
I spoke to The Mouth and she verified that she hasn't had to do any other items for me in my absence. If there is something in particular you had in mind for me to train The Minion in that both The Mouth and I are overlooking, please let me know and I'll see that it's taken care of.
I imagine she's written her own email to The Big Boss. Let her. I'm tired of putting up with this, and with a potential new job lined up am only too happy to push the issue. What can they do? Fire me? It isn't as if The Mouth is in a position to cover me. She doesn't even have a clue as to what I do.
My arm still hurts.