Salamander
Fire Walking

`
Thu Jul 29 2004

The convention was good, useful. I've now got all thirty hours of continuing education credits I needed to renew my license this fall. Mission accomplished. "Missions accomplished", I should say. It's easier to think about all kinds of stuff when you aren't surrounded by the demands of obligations.


I grow weary of public diarying. The weariness is temporary. Probably. I owe no explanations to anyone, to put it bluntly. But this isn't what I wanted when I started.

There was a time I used to make a point of leaving a comment on as many newbies' first entries as I could. It was a way of telling people "Yes, somebody will read this. Maybe not every day, and maybe they won't always get what you're saying. But if you keep writing, they'll read. And maybe you'll make a few connections out there." I don't do that often now.

I've made some connections. It can be a healthy, frustrating, challenging and rewarding thing, finding common threads by looking into the self-portraits of others. It's an interesting phenomenon, finding a piece of yourself in another's profile. It's a reassuring thing, to know you aren't completely alone. But it is also a vulnerable thing, to expose yourself in this manner. And I tire of constantly checking my armor for chinks, and I tire of the necessity of looking out for unexpected weapons, whether they be small darts or large harpoons.

I don't ask to be added to someone's friends list until I feel I've made a connection with them in some way. And I'm fully willing to let them decide not to add me. There's no obligation on their part. Trust on the internet should be given sparingly. I fear I've gotten to the point where I do not trust much at all any more.

You who are on the outside of this entry, knocking to get in. You want to be my "friend"? Then make friends with me. Don't ask me questions that are already answered in the diary. I am not flattered by your interest. I am insulted that you can't be arsed to at least skim what I have put in my main page or on my index page.

You want to be my friend? Then read my entry, make a pertinent comment, and then come back and do the same thing every few entries. Let me read your entries, and decide if I want to comment on them. Give it a few months. Maybe something will happen. Maybe something won't. That's life. Even on the Net.

You want to be my friend? Then make public comments. Approach me in the open, for all to see. Don't hide behind a new name and a two-week-old diary. I do not take private comments from people I've never met before seriously.

You want to be my friend? Then wait until I decide to make some public entries again. I might have undergone an attitude adjustment by then.


I have decided to cut off all access to my diary by "newbies" for now. I haven't decided how to handle comments yet. I'll wait until that becomes an issue, if it ever does.

4 Comments
  • From:
    AQuietEvening (Legacy)
    On:
    Fri Jul 30 2004
    I've sat here trying to think of a good comment, but what really comes to mind is "ouch." I feel the pain in your entry. I think this is a rollercoaster that we (those who keep online diaries) all ride. We put our words, feelings and hearts out there for everyone to see and sometimes we feel more vulnerable and exposed.

    ~QE
  • From:
    ElfWithAttitude (Legacy)
    On:
    Tue Aug 03 2004
    I dont know what to say...

    Firstly, let me say I am at present reading your diary backward, so this comment is being made AFTER the ones on the more recent entry.

    I echo the "ouch" above :-( I too hear you.

    Not sure what this is all about, none of my business...except to say I care. Believe it or not.
  • From:
    Miraclewhip (Legacy)
    On:
    Thu Aug 05 2004
    You are a Latin scholar and will recognize this as bastardized Latin ;), but here goes: Illigitimi non carborundant.
  • From:
    Calichef (Legacy)
    On:
    Sun Aug 08 2004
    Like the Elf, I too have read my way back to this point. I am also very sorry for whatever some jerk left in a private comment. L-ord knows, I've been there! I know how it sours the taste for online journaling, I'm dealing with a case of the Diarist's Disease just now myself. I'm hoping to get over it, too. I'm glad I finally decided to pop in and leave a comment to see if you were alright. Yeah, I'm slow. Sue me. Oops, there's that attitude showing again.
    Hugs,
    ~Cali