DearDiary Logo
Public DiariesHomeLogin

Salamander
Fire Walking

Stone Cold Contemplative
Fri Jun 03 2005

Most days I think I make a difference. Most days I think I am at least somewhat respected. Most days I can force the equations to add up to a number greater than zero.

This is not one of those days.

I made a good, solid, correct decision. It was overridden because it was not convenient. It was overridden by someone who just hours previously had told me that he and his department didn't have the time to do such work and make such decisions. It was overridden because my decision was inconvenient and required a little extra work be done at the end of the day on a Friday. It was overridden right in front of me with absolutely no explanation given to me. It was overridden with contempt.

I make no difference. I garner no respect. The equations don't add; they subtract, leaving me with something less than zero.

The stone in my chest is hard, and cold enough to freeze tears before they form. And I wonder who I am, and what the hell I'm doing here.

6 Comments
  • From:
    Valyum (Legacy)
    On:
    Fri Jun 03 2005
    oh my. was it a decision that would make life easier and more sensible for you and your co-workers? that burns. i'm so sorry, sal 8(
  • From:
    Allimom (Legacy)
    On:
    Fri Jun 03 2005
    I've been in that same situation more times than I can count. It never ceases to amaze me how some people will throw safety or financial responsibility out the window just to save them from having to work a little bit harder for a short time. The stupidity of these actions is mind boggling.
    Alli
  • From:
    Welshamethyst (Legacy)
    On:
    Fri Jun 03 2005
    *sigh*

    Sal, the thing is, you DO make a difference by making the hard decisions. You make a difference because someone, somewhere, knows that you made the right call and it will encourage them to do the same in the future.

    Hugs
  • From:
    KiwiKimi (Legacy)
    On:
    Fri Jun 03 2005
    Grr....

    In my experience, many difficulties, stresses and challenges in the workplace are more than made up for if one precious thing remains: professional respect. Without that it's hard to keep making the effort.
  • From:
    Franny (Legacy)
    On:
    Fri Jun 03 2005
    usually, that type of decision will come back in one form or another to bite the decision-maker's butt, as well as, those who supported him/her.
  • From:
    Deepbluesea (Legacy)
    On:
    Tue Jun 13 2006
    All I can say, is don't give up trying in general. It may happen this one time, or the next, or maybe it has many times before. But we all make differences we cannot even see. And the more we try, the better the odds :)