The problem's all inside your gut, my doc said to me
The answer's easy, approached biologically
I'd like to help you in your struggle to be free
There must be fifty ways to leave your liver

Doc said it's really not my habit to intrude
Furthermore I hope my meaning won't be lost or misconstrued
So I repeat myself, at the risk of being crude
There must be fifty ways to leave your liver, fifty ways to leave your liver

CHORUS:
Slip in someone else's, Elsa,
Get a new organ, Stan
No need for that blush, Rush, if that gown shows your tush
Hop on that bed, Fred, while we slip that mask on your head
Just dream with no care, Cher, and I'll drop in a spare.
(repeats 2x)

Doc said it grieves me so to see you in such pain
But there's things that I can do to help you drink more wine again
I said, I appreciate that, then would you please explain about the fifty ways

Doc said, why don't you just go home and sleep on it tonight
And I believe, in the morning you'll begin to see the light
And then he billed me and I realized he probably was right
There must be fifty ways to leave your liver, fifty ways to leave your liver
CHORUS

He'll get a new SAAB, Bob.
A Jamaican retreat, Pete.
That new pool's on the way, Faye, just listen to me.
He'll hop on a plane, Wayne, with no need to explain.
He'll bill my insurance, Vance, and get a fat fee.