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Salamander
Fire Walking

The Muse has Moved Me.
Tue Nov 26 2002

This is what happens when I'm left with too much time on my hands without a keeper assigned to me.

Song: Fifty Ways To Leave Your Liver
Artist: With apologies to Paul Simon

The problem's all inside your gut, my doc said to me
The answer's easy, approached biologically
I'd like to help you in your struggle to be free
There must be fifty ways to leave your liver

Doc said it's really not my habit to intrude
Furthermore I hope my meaning won't be lost or misconstrued
So I repeat myself, at the risk of being crude
There must be fifty ways to leave your liver, fifty ways to leave your liver

CHORUS:
Slip in someone else's, Elsa,
Get a new organ, Stan
No need for that blush, Rush, if that gown shows your tush
Hop on that bed, Fred, while we slip that mask on your head
Just dream with no care, Cher, and I'll drop in a spare.
(repeats 2x)

Doc said it grieves me so to see you in such pain
But there's things that I can do to help you drink more wine again
I said, I appreciate that, then would you please explain about the fifty ways

Doc said, why don't you just go home and sleep on it tonight
And I believe, in the morning you'll begin to see the light
And then he billed me and I realized he probably was right
There must be fifty ways to leave your liver, fifty ways to leave your liver
CHORUS

He'll get a new SAAB, Bob.
A Jamaican retreat, Pete.
That new pool's on the way, Faye, just listen to me.
He'll hop on a plane, Wayne, with no need to explain.
He'll bill my insurance, Vance, and get a fat fee.


12 Comments
  • From:
    TexanElf (Legacy)
    On:
    Tue Nov 26 2002
    LOL! I love your parody, especially the last verse.

    I was listening to an NPR (radio) story a couple of weeks ago about a college student who needed a lung transplant. Her friends threw her lungs a retirement party. "To Laura's lungs, for twenty-two years of service." We should do that. Then again, maybe we should wait till you get the new liver, then we can really celebrate. ;o)

    Sorry about not being able to visit this time. :o(
  • From:
    MoonriddenGirl (Legacy)
    On:
    Tue Nov 26 2002
    LOL! I love your remake. :)

    And yay for feeling good! And I'm glad I'm not the only one almost done with the Christmas shopping. :)

    Speaking of which, my tree is lovely. If you want to, go ahead and put yours up. After all, we're only <insert age here> once. Whatever <inserted age> may be.

    So far, my Little Nemo is ignoring our tree. May he continue to do so!

  • From:
    Ravenwood (Legacy)
    On:
    Tue Nov 26 2002
    Just checking in on you... It's nice to see you again.
    ; )
  • From:
    C00KIE (Legacy)
    On:
    Tue Nov 26 2002
    LOL! I loved your remake too! Glad to see I'm not the only one who gets silly and rewrites songs from time to time. ;-)
    (Just did this awhile back in my own journal with Frankie's 'Fly me to the moon' song.)

    Glad to see you're feeling better! Sending warm wishes your way for a wonderful week!

    Hugs,
    Lauren
  • From:
    TraumaMama (Legacy)
    On:
    Tue Nov 26 2002
    It is good to hear you are feeling better and actually had a decent weekend! Good news with the cardiologist too.
    I haven't started Christmas shopping, it is too soon for me. The kids aren't even sure of what they want yet so I have a good reason for slacking.
  • From:
    EdStun (Legacy)
    On:
    Tue Nov 26 2002
    My favorite Paul Simon song is any selection from that Graceland album.
    Glad to hear you're not feeling fluish. I've been fairly lucky so far. Usually I get very sick around Christmas, so I'm not out of the woods yet.
    I've got some neighbors who insist on parking in front of my house. I hate that when they do that. They seem to think this house is overflow parking. I'm going to let the Potatoskins Eating Dog out so he can pee on their tires.
  • From:
    EdStun (Legacy)
    On:
    Tue Nov 26 2002
    I just realised your the lyrics are a parody! You did such a good job I didn't notice at first. (the fact it's 2 in the morning doesn't hurt.) You should send it to him and see what he thinks.
  • From:
    EdStun (Legacy)
    On:
    Tue Nov 26 2002
    Pay no attention to the extra "the" in my last comment there.
  • From:
    Justjen (Legacy)
    On:
    Tue Nov 26 2002
    LMAO! I love your lyrics! I was singing right along with them. :-P Glad to hear you are feeling healthy again! :-) Hope you have a good Thanksgiving too! Take care and enjoy yourself!
  • From:
    Lilith (Legacy)
    On:
    Tue Nov 26 2002
    You did Paul Simon proud.

    I'm still laughing =D
  • From:
    Shay4l (Legacy)
    On:
    Tue Nov 26 2002
    It's so nice to hear that you're feeling better. If only my sister had stayed in Tenn. we could have had so much more time!
  • From:
    Valyum (Legacy)
    On:
    Tue Nov 26 2002
    nothing like a pal who is feeling better to bring out the best in us 8)

    i don't even want to do xmas this year. seeing commercials and stores peddling the holiday so early is really sickening to me.