"Hey Booker! You'll never guess who spoke at my church yesterday!"
"You got me, Pookey. Who?"
"We had a lady give the sermon! Nobody showed up!"
"Didn't your church vote against that years ago? I remember you talking about that."
"I don't know why they have to change things like this. It's supposed to be traditional. Nobody who's been with the church for a while is happy with this. Nobody showed up on Sunday."
"What about the Church Elders? Didn't they say anything?"
"We've got a bunch of new people showing up at the church now. Not that that's a bad thing, but I don't know any of these people. They just decided to let her give a sermon. We don't have elders or anything anymore, just eight people who run things, and they decided to let her talk. Not that I have anything against new people. But what about all of us who have always been there? "
"You going to keep going there? What about your husband's old church?"
"Yeah, well it's awkward with the divorce and everything. His old wife used to belong there too. She got kicked out because she was living with her boyfriend and wouldn't get married, but her friends still go there."
I had been doing OK up to this point. When religion comes up, I try to hit the "off" switch to my mouth. Alas, today I was too slow.
"They won't let her go to church because she's a sinner?!" I sputtered. Honest, I just blurted it out without thinking. Booker looked like a cat with a canary in its mouth. Pookey turned red.
"Well it isn't that. It's just that they told her to get married and she wouldn't. She choose ...."
"But she's married the guy since," I said.
"Yeah," said Pookey. I stayed quiet, having belatedly located the "off" switch to my masseter muscles.
"Well, we aren't as bad as some churches," said Pook. "Everlasting Holiness down the street has a gay lady as a preacher!"
The "off" switch flipped back "on". "Hark!" I cried. 'Those hoof beats in the parking lot! It's the four horsemen of the Apocalypse!" I got the look.
"Not that I have anything against gays," Pookey said.
I excused myself on the grounds that I'd caused enough trouble, and went back to work.