Although I talked to JM through text the other day, I have not said anything to JM about anything. I cannot text her ‘I love you’ like I once did months ago, why? She has become a person I cannot trust her fully right now. She has not, in the past four months I have not texted her, I did not get anything from her whatsoever. Why not hear from her? What a true friend JM had turned out to be. Irately. We have not practiced getting into her vehicle awith my walker since now I can walk. When I invited her her over one Saturday afternoon afternoon after church, she did not text to say she was not coming, I texted her that evening she will not be invited over for a while. I will not have her without DH or JP here because I do not want her here with me alone anymore, and having JP here too would not be a great idea because their friendship makes me cringe my dislike. I do not like buddy buddy friendship. My friendship with JM is not like their friendship anyway. I think their friendship makes feel sick to my stomach. Yes, I feel like I have been put out to pasture with the rejects when those two are in the same room. No, I am not jealous; I am just pushed aside. JP acts too bubbly around JM that the friendship seems fake. I also feel I have chosen JM because of her closeness to NMS before she died a few years ago, and that is for the wrong reason.