Another thing I have noticed between us, is talking about religion or beliefs. When I visited my parents in NM for the first time since they moved there from Wisconsin, my stepfather and I got into a discussion abou God and he immediately found a way to down God immediately as well as my feelings towards the creator I know is really and truly here watching over us. How he downed my feelings, was he had gotten online and found a few pages of someone's writing about God and my stepfather had read the pages to me making me feel real dumb and stupid, I literally went to bed in tears that evening. If my parents heard my sobs from my room that night, they never said a word to me, and if they did, who cares now. This happened two years ago.
Why do I have this love hate relationship with my stepfather? I can say this, that I like to be kind to people no matter if they can be jerks at times I suppose. Now that I sit here rehashing some things, I do have to say I am GLAD not to be in a relationship now and I plan to not be in another relationship again unless God wants me to be in a relationship again. I am done looking myself at this time.
What I have just written here was a piece of my private/personal life that I have yet not shared with anyone but my closest friends and adoptive Mom. Now I have shared my private life here for the whole world to see. It is getting harder and harder for me to hold in my lfe - private and personal or not. I have been reading some real good journal entries here for the past two years now as well as write my own entries now and then on a regular basis. Many diarists have shared their most innermost thoughts and feelings. Sometimes I do get it to why people have troubles with other people as far as what they write but there always going to be a controvesry to face no matter where you go in life. We don't always live life from a day to day basis in a very cheery state of mind do we? We have to count our blessings when things don't seem right all the time, and be grateful for the goodness in life. I may not like my stepfather from time to time but he is married to my mom and I have no choice but to let their life alone.