Ksmiley/LittleKrissi
My Garden Court Journal

What in the world am I going to do? I am beginning to feel that I can no longer be kind to my friend CSE anymore!! Sad, I know!! She really made me mad tonight and I am still seething that when she has left, I had to write about it before going to bed at such an late hour. I want to scream at her if she is not going to treat her laptop and mouse with respect in my home, her laptop and mouse will no longer be allowed in my home. Do I not have the right to be comfortable in my own home when I have guests and ask them to leave if they are not making me feel comfortable? I have not asked CSE to leave because of the fact she makes me feel uncomfortable in my own home but she has made me real mad so many times and I just do not say anything to her because I can not open my mouth to say anything. I feel numb inside my own skin. Dang! I want her to respect her things in my home like she respects my things in my own home. She treats my things with utmost respect, too, but she does not treat her laptop and mouse with the same respect in my home. I do not care how she treats her materialistic things in her own home. I have repeated myself so many times for her to stop beating her laptop and mouse and she still does as if she did not hear me.

What really made me mad tonight as well as that she said she plans on buying a new laptop. When she had bought the laptop she has now, she has gotten herself into some trouble with the management because she could not pay her rent for two months! She ended up paying the rent she missed in installments until she paid her due rent she missed. She even lied to me about how much her laptop cost her at Wal-Mart as well! She has been lying to me or not telling me the full truth about things lately, and I do not like liars. If she does buy herself a new laptop, I am not going to allow her to have access to the internet on my modem anymore. She will have to get her own modem and internet provider. I will, sounding it is out of spite, change my password and not give her my new password - if it can be done that is.

I am sick and tired of myself allowing myself to not open my mouth and speak my mind! I want to scream at CSE for acting the way she has been in my home with her materialistic things. Her laptop and mouse being the materialistic items I am speaking about.

I do not want to be mean about it or be mean to her in general either but I feel I can no longer be Miss Nice anymore for some reason. She is looking up information via the internet about her family and do a lot of research but if she is not respecting her stuff in my apartment, she will not be able to do so anymore in my apartment. I just got done with having my modem protected from a gentleman who has been using the internet for his sick pleasure of looking at naked woman on his laptop - the feeling of being used big time. That is how I feel about this gentleman anyway. CSE helps me and Bing practically everyday and the use of the internet on my modem is my way of saying thank you and is her pay back for helping me. If I do decide to change my password and do not allow her to have the password, I will not have her help me anymore. I have walked away from her once before and I will do so again if I have too.

She has made me very mad!!!! AARRGG!