Thanksgiving Day
Is it Thanksgiving Day already? Well, it is Thursday morning, and I am awake, but I am yet groggy. Yes, it is Thanksgiving Day. I do not have a turkey cooking in my oven this year. The fact is, I have not had a turkey cooking in my oven in my oven for years, since I have moved out, but one year while I lived at Garden Court, and had Thanksgiving dinner with a neighbor who happens to not be with us because he passed away at home the following year around Christmas. I remember his death to this day because his friendship meant a lie to me. I was at my Aunt JK’s the farm for Christmas that year. At that time, I learned or R’s death over the phone from NMS when we spoke on the phone. It was a big blow of my day on December 25th that year. With if being Thanksgiving Day today, JP is bringing me a plate to have later this afternoon. I could care either way. DH will be here by 10 AM after what the name of the event is is called the ‘turkey trot’. Her son TH is running’s in it. It goes by GC every year. It is 34 degrees outside. A little too chilly for me. I would participate in it with my power chair, and no, not like last year, I am not watching the event from my living room window today. I am not interested in it this year. JP said last week and this week she is going to participate in the ‘turkey trot with DH next year. Why does she have to be friends with her+ too. She and JM ruined my friendship relationship with JM by getting too close to JM shortly after they met. I think JP ruins friendships. JM and I are not close, and JM does not work for me anymore, and the last time I spoke to her until the other day was maybe three months ago. I still love her but I am very selective of telling her anything, and I no longer trust her. She will have to build her trust with me, but right now, I do not want her in my home with me alone with.no one else. Now, I may sound silly and mean, but when JP and JM were here together with me, they were too bubbly talking about things and when they talking about me in front of me, they did so as if I was a burden to them and that I needed to pull more of my weight to help them better than I have been. No one speaks to me like that, and no matter who said it first and agreed to leave if I fired JM, JP would leave, too. Absolutely unacceptable behavior among two caregivers working together. Now JM will work as needed and is backup. She still has a key and fob to get in, although, I wish she did not have them anymore to be very honest.
Since I am not really celebrating Thanksgiving today, the day where neighbors and friends, and family celebrate the holiday, I think it is just another ordinary day, and a reminder that I am not with friends for the day celebrating the day. I have nor celebrated Thanksgiving with friends since the Van Arsdale’s left to live in Arizona when he retired as the pastor here. It has been emotional for me since they left a few years ago. I was still living at Burbank Plaza when they left Wisconsin. Now, I am dealing with the blahs that come with anxiety and depression. Iris a reminder of being alone without being invited to celebrate something special during the year. Now you get it-I think. I would be thrilled if friends would invite me like the Van Ardale’s did while they lived in Janesville. Today is an ordinary day for me like usual.
I am watching the first season of Midsomer Murders on Tubi today. I am doing my best does not stay awake with my groggy stare of mind. Yep, I want to go back to sleep because of my Seroquel. Seriously! Maybe I will take a nap when DH comes and goes since JP will not be here until 2 and 3 PM with my Thanksgiving Day dinner. At least I will not be alone for the holiday. DH is on her way now at 8:45 AM! More thoughts later. I guess Tyler is done running. It is Tyler’s birthday, too, today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TYLER!!! I hope he has a great day.
Please forgive me for sounding like a sourpuss right now. I am dealing with mixed emotions right now. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. TTFN