I wish I could say how I feel but it is kind of hard right now.  My heart aches very badly because I have decided to walk away from two people I have loved for very long time as friends.  I am going through what my caseworker AH says a "grieving process".  The heart will heal in time.  Walking away from two friends is not like a death - exactly.  It is still a "grieving" process though. Yesterday, I was not impressed while I was trying to do business with the manager, NMS interrupts us asking questions about CSE and it did not make me feel very comfortable.