Thu Apr 15 2004 - A Lot Of ThoughtsToday!
A Lot Of ThoughtsToday!

A Little Inbetween

I am feeling a little in between today for some reason. I am feeling, if I do not keep my mouth closed, I will say something I will later on regret so I am keeping my distance from some people for some reason. I do not know what is going on, but it is surely different from what I have felt before. I do not know why I am feeling like so. Anyway, it will pass...the feelings usually do, but time is not ever known. I am fine and fairly happy today. I think, part of it is, there is no class today and the instructor is not here. Who really knows. God does when I do not.

Fighting Inside My Head

I have been fighting the idea of going to school and not going to school again today. It really bugs me because I really like school. I think, with Spring here, who really wants to be cooped up in a classroom with no windows listening to a lecture? I know I have battled that issue in my mind several times in the past and even today. I am sitting in the Special Needs Lab right now with eight computers around me, with no outside windows but a door to the hallway. It is not yet noon, but it surely feels like the day has come and gone already at half-time. LOL It is such a beautiful day today. It was already 55 degrees outside at 8 a.m. when I left for school. I wore a jean jacket to school and got kind of warm waiting for the bus. KW was wearing shorts when I first saw her on the bus. It is that nice out. I am wearing a jean skirt with a short sleeve top today and it is real nice. That is how nice today really is.

Ex-boyfriend Thoughts AGAIN!

For some reason I have been thinking about my past relationship with my ex-boyfriend. He was pleasant to the eye and nice for the first part of our relationship but he surely was not nice throughout the last part of our relationship. I am so glad I broke it off with him and having my life back. I did not realize, until after I broke it off with him, that he was affecting my schooling to the point that it was not getting done correctly or I was not understanding it. I am looking forward to a good semester next Fall in Accounting 1 and Spreadsheets. I do not know what he is thinking or anything but I am NOT going to allow him to come back into my life because I do not need the type of abuse he had given me at the end of the relationship. It was emotional abuse and he HAS a lot of growing up to do. I am also thinking that he is a liar and has turned some church members away from me with his lies and manipulative ways...which I sawa throughout the entire relationship. That is one reason WHY I broke it off with him anyway.

The World Around Me

I may be repeating myself at times...

My world around me today seems so strange and different. I do not know why. I am feeling a little anxious and a little wanting to do things my way and my way only, but I am here to satisfy others as well. As I sit here and write away in my journal, I am constantly seeing my favorite flower at bloom now that I changed the style and the look of journal to give it a Spring look for the Spring season. The sun is out and the weather is good and comfortable. That is my world arouond me right now.

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