Okay, I have been home for several hours now. I had mac and cheese, yogurt, and some snacks between 11 a.m. and 3 p.m. until JP got back around 3:15 p.m. For supper I had homemade pizza and snacks between 3:30 p.m. and 5:45 p.m. and JP left around 4 p.m. or a few minutes before 4 p.m. It has been a better day, but still emotional for me.
Anyway, with my play-by-play sort of day, I have to admit that there a part of my day, actually two parts of my day that could have been tons better than my emotional upsets I have been having. During my appointment my caregiver JP said some things that I did not like, and I made me feel real sick and hurt. I wanted to scream at her for being mean and hurting me bad enough that I wanted to take my power chair and drive out of the darn room. Truth is, the need to be on anxiety and depression medication is definitely necessary, but what she said is not worth repeating and I will get in an emotional state of mind again. Before she left for the day, we called the pharmacy to discuss the medication the pharmacy needs to get ready for pick up tomorrow afternoon, and bang boom, DONE!
My mom and I had a discussion this afternoon via text message, and saying I allowing Satan to take over my life is my fault. I am inclined to disagree and wished we never had this discussion or text talk. No, it is not my fault. At least not my fault entirely because my emotions are at a point I am hurting badly enough. I will take my part of the blame, but I will not be blamed for it all. Yes, Satan has a hold of me, but will not take crap from my mom anymore. I will not take any crap from anyone anymore. This is one discussion I will not talk to JP about this anytime soon because she kind of pissed me off today at the appointment today.
I am hurting when it comes to talking to my mom today. I have arthritis and sleep can be difficult at times now and again. I have an imbalance of something going on, and I will seek help from a doctor and counselor. I am looking for a counselor to this very day. Mercy Options for my response in the mail. Waiting to hear from me, so waiting is an answer. Maybe I should talk to JP about it. I think I will tomorrow if I remember to do so. Tomorrow night for seven nights I begin my new anxiety and depression medication called quetiapine/Seroquel.