It is late and I know for a fact that if I do not get my thoughts out in the open, sleep will be very hard to find, and it is almost 12:30 a.m. Friday morning. Anyway, I ate kind of late, 9 p.m., this evening, and the food is sitting kind of heavy in my stomach right now. Today is a birthday for my oldest neice and she will be 17 years old! I can not believe how fast my neices and nephew are growing. They are all teenagers now. Oh how I can not wait to see them next month for Thanksgiving and our family Christmas.

The past four days now I have been expressing my feelings and those feelings I have been experiencing have been mixed and filled with question and wonder. The feeling of disconnection from the real world is getting better but yet it is still there. I am beginning to realize that my feeling of disconnection from the real world has a lot to do with my relationship with one particular friend in my life -- the very friend who does not listen to anyone, lies, and thinks that everything has to go her way or no way at all and if it does not go her way, she has to cop an attitude that is so childish and immature. I am just waiting for her to put herself in a hole she will not be able to crawl out without any help. Today is another day that my decision is yet not made on what to do except that I am going to be getting my apartment key back and giving it to her when I am ready to give it to her. How I am going to get my apartment key back without her copping an attitude is yet a question in my mind. I am not sure if she has worn out her welcome at this point but it looks like it is going in that direction.