Ksmiley/LittleKrissi
My Garden Court Journal

The building I have been living at for the past 13 years seems to have a hold of all the tenants who live here some how - some way. It makes me sick to my stomach when I hear about one specific tenant being picked on and treated like crap by another tenant who does not seem to care if she is so outspoken it hurts others around her. Anyway, this one tenant is now not speaking to another tenant in the building who happens to be picked on by this one tenant who seems to not care about others but herself. I even still remember her verbally attacking me the eve of the Super Bowl in front of other tenants without any remorse of doing such. I think this one tenant should move out again and never give this place another chance - a third one - and if she does move out, management will not allow her to come back again anyway. I know o that MP can be a nuisance and a little trouble maker at times but that is because he is bored and does not have something to do. This past winter he offered to be the very one going out in the cold days and nights to shovel and de-ice the sidewalks every day after a snowfall and ice storm. He did a fantastic job doing that. Now, MP and another tenant, H have been working on a garden in the backyard of the building by the garage that keeps MP busy and happy because he loves to garden and do things for other people he cares about. Unfortunately, KM, a gal who has one heck of a nastiness about her a lot these days, does not want nothing to do with MP now because he brings up something way too much so she stopped talking to him and treats him like crap every time they meet in the public areas. What is wrong with KM?! What she does to other people is wrong and nasty. She is the cleaning person of our building and she complains and bitches about other tenants sabotaging her cleaning afterwards when cameras do not show such tenants doing such horrible acts to her cleaning afterwards. Remembering how KM has been treating another tenant PM who lives on the 2nd floor of the building in #211 comes to mind as shouting matches between the two come from the community room because PM and KM get into it from time to time. KM can be a scary person sometimes I still hang around her from time to time because she never has a problem with me at any given time - except the day of the Super Bowl. I have been careful with my words and thoughts and anytime something seems out of line or character of her that can be harmful to others, I will tell the management everything that was said to me. I am shoulder to cry on and a sounding board but I can only go so far now-a-days without having such a stressful time getting through my life happily. People living here I do associate with from time to time but not everyday because people can be so fickle and so damn nosy around here, lol. I'd rather live in my own place with no one in my home most of the time but I have to have face to face contact with people, and yet I do not want to be a hermitess or someone people will not come to and visit. It has come to that point almost... I wish I had my own home where I have neighbors next door around me but no neighbors above me or below me or next door in the same building. That dream has yet to come true for me but I have to have a good paying job and a steady income I can have for the rest of my life - a career. Living here has a hold on me as well, too. AARRGG!! I would rather be left alone if I had my way about it but of course I have people watching over me today and always.

Another thing that has been bothering me lately is how certain a certain friend of mine would tell other people how to handle their vacations or times away from the computer when this friends needs to worry about herself and do what she wants to do for herself. When our friend got married a couple of weeks ago now, my friend told me to ignore my now married friend for a couple of days so our married friend can spend time with her husband and enjoy time away from the computer. I did not do that and told my friend that our friend just got a new computer her husband had bought her a few days before the wedding. Our friend who got married was on the computer a lot after she got married because she chose to do so and my friend needs to worry about herself and stop telling others how to handle their vacations and days on the computer. If my friend chooses to ignore her friends online she can do so but she needs to do what she wants to do and STOP telling others how to do . I really dislike people like this. I will do whatever I want and live my life on my computer daily if I chose to do so. My life is on the computer these days so I do not get bored or have a problem with my emotional health. I do not get online at all when I am sick and not feeling well anyway. I have had days like that in the past where I am not online for a couple of days or even more. When I was sick with bronchial pneumonia, I was online at times but the gusto of being online was not there. People need to stop and think how their actions affect other people at times an and my friend has really pissed me off more than enough times but I have kept my mouth shut knowing that my friend can come back nasty and mean and continue picking on me for being such a bitch when she is the one acting bitchy and pulling her parents' health into the fight and threaten me with associating with her parents. I have had two physical altercations with this friend and intend on not having another (3rd) with her or the police will be involved and she will be arrested and never be a friend of mine anymore and the "sister status" will be no more between us and she will not get a 4th chance to be chummy with me again. Sometimes I wonder what type of friends I associate with and it is quite often a question of mine and lately it has been. I am so naive I guess and want to be a friend to everyone!!!

Remember when I said that this building I live in has a hold of me as well as many other tenants? That is the good and honest truth about me. When I had lived on the 3rd floor for 11 years, i have had contemplated on moving out of here so many times because this place had become a very unhappy place to live. The tenants in this building have nothing better to do but to gossip and spread rumors about other people that people on the outside of the building have no want to live here because people have given this place a bad reputation and the public hears about it on the outside. It was horrible at the time. Now, living on the 1st floor for the past two years now has been a little better but my happiness comes and goes in this place once more making me want to stay in my apartment away from other tenants and associating with a select few and the management. I do not hate it here exactly but I do want to live elsewhere away from here and when that opportunity does come about, I will definitely not give this place a glance back - I am not going to turn into a pillar of salt because I looked back when I shouldn't have. The tenants who live here do not even deserve a second look except those I associate with. Otherwise, if I get an opportunity to move out of this place, I am cutting ties from the tenants I have associated in this place because they do not deserve my time. I need to take care of me and me alone. Bing and I will take care of ourselves and get the help needed from the companies and non-profit organizations I am involved with and in. Unfortunately I do have to admit that I have no place to go to to get away from here for good just yet but that dream is yet to come true for me. I have to be happy here for the time being. Maybe one day yet I will have my own home yet!!!! That would be a dream come true.

This has been a piece of me that I wanted to share for a very long time. I am not venting or complaining or anything today. Just wanted to share a part of me that has been on my mind for a very long time lately. My life is not always a bowl of ripe fruit of course but I do have to admit that my life is NEVER really boring ever, lol.

More later...