I have after all...decided to write my friend a letter to ask her to stop complaining to me about my other friend. - a copy of the letter (names left out) is included here now.
Mar 24, 2001
I am writing you this letter/note to you to tell you that I felt very uncomfortable of you mentioning (name) sneezing and coughing on you. I wish for your complaining about (name) to stop between you and I because I am keeping friends with both of you. I want to remain friends with you as well as (name), but the complaining in front of me about Janie has to stop right now. I know you don’t care about (name), but if you have a problem with her, go to her directly and take care of your problem between you two and stop involving me. I do feel like a doormat when people do this to me. I am not a doormat for someone to wipe their feet on. I am a person with feelings and problems of my own, too.