Ksmiley/LittleKrissi
My Garden Court Journal

I do have to admit that I did not go anywhere tonight.  I did not go to the seminar meeting tonight.  I did not feel emotionally able to go anywhere really.  I just wanted to stay home today for the most part even though I did walk about the apartment complex.  I did not want to be too far away from home and going away from my apartment complex today would be too far away from home for me today.  I have been dealing with a lot of emotions since last Wednesday and I sometimes do not feel I have been heard and have been considered a person who cannot let go of the past.  Sometimes the past seems to creep in into my present because of the hurt I have gone through in the present.  I do not forget that easily even though forgiveness does come at a time needed.  Even though God has asked us to forgive those who hurt us there are two people in my life I am having trouble forgiving for they have hurt me very badly for years.  I am not talking about my AR parents but family in PA. I know exactly what I did or did not do and I will not have liars in my life.  My AR parents think I lie or have lied and cannot let go of the past.  That hurts me a lot today because that brings past hurts come back as if they cannot forget themselves.  Trust is an issue here and I do not trust my family who lives in AR right now.  I know the truth and I will not be bullied by my parents!