In so many hours I will be heading to PA to visit my olest brother and his family for a few days. I will be leaving at 2:30 a.m. from my home to Chicago, IL to the Chicago O'Hare Airport and will be returning to WI the evening of June 30th. I do have to admit that the excitement is there - not the nervousness I once experienced when I have traveled by plane not too long ago now. I am actually relaxed and comfortable about going on a flight and getting to and from place to place. I do have to admit that I have not seen my brother and his family since May of 1997 when we saw each other at our Uncle's funeral. That was the last time I have seen him and seeing him again is, all around, a very exciting time for my brother and his family and myself. My neices and nephew really don't know me very well and I don't know them well myself. In fact, these past seven years, I have estranged myself from my brother for personal reasons I can not and will not get into, but after tomorrow upon on our meeting and spending time together, I am not going to estrange myself from my brother's life ever again. I can tell you one thing about why I was estranged from my brother's life but I will not go into detail. I have been told falsely about my brother's feelings by another family member and when I learned differently what my brother's feelings were, I vowed I would never take stock into what I hear from this person again as far as my brother and his family are concerned. I do feel guilty to some degree because I took sides to the whole mess that can not and will not be discussed or written about here. This is one very private situation that I will not share with my Dear Diary friends. This private mess, if shared with the world,could hurt my family even more and I do want to respect the privacy of my loved ones as much as possible.

Again, as I write this entry, leaving it particially a mystery to my readers, I am excited about this adventure to PA. I want to see my brother and his family very badly and start from scratch in our still somewhat estranged relationship no thanks to me.