Ksmiley/LittleKrissi
My Garden Court Journal

I have decided to stay home from church yesterday and take it easy.  I have had a lot going on in my world lately that I have “taken a day off”.  I had called my ride the night before last and told them that I will not be going to church with them after all.  The feeling of anxiety building up looms high right now and I need to stay as sane as possible a little longer.  So far it is just not working out the way I have hoped because I know that starting Monday begins a very busy week for me and sleep has been an on and off thing.  Without time for myself is not helping either.  I am not really enjoying what is around me as much as I have done in the most recent past because I have been so busy.  I am beginning to find appointments are getting in the way right now and I have two appointments next week on Tuesday and Friday, and I do not want to go to my Tuesday appointment. I did go to church this morning.  I saw my friends and other church members during Sunday School/Growth Group and then saw my friends SJW and her husband MW at the 11 am worship service and then I came home.  I have had my afternoon shower and my shower gal has left, and now I have time for myself. The time I have for myself does not feel like my time really.  I am restless and feeling the pressure of anxiety building up.  It is not a very good feeling and it is very uncomfortable. To add to my collection of emotion, today happens to be the birthday of a high school colleague of mine.  I wish that this high school colleague would stop pestering my memory bank today but it is not happening right now.  I am not very happy right now.  This high school colleague, if he would have listened to reason a couple of years ago.  I believe we would still be friends today but he chose to delete and block me from Facebook.  His choice has cost a friendship at his end and I have been hurt.  The idea of trusting this person again is questionable.  I am better off without this person.