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What's Sharing and Sharing What...
Fri Nov 15 2024

first thing I've noticed after returning to DDLand - how my own entries have changed...this diary used to be a place to share my thoughts and musings...scrolling through the new incarnation can't help, but noticed, it is more of a sharing of places and events...hmmmm...not sure yet what to think of it...from one hand it is great opportunity to expand the circle of social media sharing...from the other hand...I sort of miss the old ways...it is true...as also the truth is - thoughts are different todays from what they were yesterdays...and having sailed through the rough times and came out on the other side of it...I think, I still have those "I've been thinking" moments happening to me every now and then...so what's stopping me to share those then...luck of time? I've been busier with my life in the before times and still - endless blogs, at times more then one-a-day...I also made this observation: in the past, the more disturbed/hurt/confused I felt, more writings would reflect this state...there is something very therapeutic about sharing one's troubled thoughts with the strangers you never see, as opposed to face-to-face...and yet lately every time I was having a pensive thought, it feels like she'll wrap inwards, onto itself more, as if it is not a good thing to share her out...as if I'd been feeling more like "everyone has their own worries, why load them with mine as well"...as if I've taken a self-inflicted responsibility for sharing only positive side...what happened to the rest of me...isn't it the very idea of the diary to let it out into the open...if I don't want to know reactions or hear opinion or get an advice, I'd just close the comments, right...somehow in the process of dealing with life I have lost that confidence in sharing halves the trouble idea...and to think of it...this is the only thing that kept me sane and on the path in my darkness days of "life before"...

I've been thinking of all the sharing I've done in the past...of those who cared enough to listen...of those who came to mean so much to me, despite of never been a reality of my life...of those who left...by death...or by choice...at times I wonder...do they ever regret...do they miss it...the sharing, so bold and brave, it still astonishes me how we could talk of all these things without any shame, inhibitions and judgements...even typing this now brings tear to my eyes...how I miss these times...and those who honoured me with their company for a brief walk along the same path...that Fellow Traveller tale...it has deep meaning and I experienced it fully...

sentimental entry, this is...and it feels good...that I can feel it...still...here's to the more to come...

3 Comments
  • From:
    D'vorahDavida
    On:
    Fri Nov 15 2024
    Wow. This entry hit me right between the eyes. And what you describe is one of the reasons that I stopped blogging for a long while. I found myself afraid to really speak what was on my mind. A lot of difficult things have happened to all of us in the last four years. Outside forces pushed us apart. Personal boundaries were breeched, physically, emotionally, politically, and socially. Personal freedoms, which were almost sacred lines, were forced down with devastating results. And I'm not just talking about the dreaded .... [to bring a little levity into this conversation... my 95 year old mother called it the "Covitis" in her usual malapropism style]. It was more than that. Societal norms with regard to one's health choices, and political leanings were blown to bits, and we were forced to take sides on complex issues that were actually FILLED with nuance and qualifications that were no longer even being put on the table. We are dealing with the fallout from that still. Which makes us extremely reluctant to identify our positions on any number of topics, because they ALL have become political and social land mines. Either way you lean. I HATE this. It has done its work too, because we could find ourselves on opposite sides of a topic and can they make us forget all that we have been to each other BEFORE the 'great divisions' happened? It's a test of our character when we are faced with these choices. So. Yeah. Those were 'the good old days' to be sure. I don't think we are beyond repairing the breeches. But it will take courage and soul searching to accomplish it. I'm in if you are. Between you and me. Forget the rest of the world. Speak your truth. And I will endeavor to listen with respect and as Jordan Peterson says... honor the Divine Spark within you.
    • From:
      Ksmiley/LittleKrissi
      On:
      Mon Nov 25 2024
      I agree with you!
  • From:
    Ksmiley/LittleKrissi
    On:
    Mon Nov 25 2024
    Thank you for sharing your thoughts about blogging and journaling. What you have said is an eye opener for me. I believe, since talking my feelings verbally is darn hard for me to do, I can write my feelings. I believe I have the ability to observe and sometimes I observe things that are very difficult to understand or to express. When the opportunity arises, I grab the opportunity to speak the truth when I am being lied to right in my face, and sometimes I hate to speak the truth when someone is lying right in front of me, it hurts to walk away from liars! As far as speaking your mind…NEVER STOP DOING SO because the truth does hurt or can sting when it is realized and I have been one of those people who has been told and heard the truth being slapped right in the face—my own face. OUCH!