I think I didn’t make myself clear enough, perhaps, I wasn’t clear enough myself. You know how it happens, you think of something, a million of thoughts flushed through your mind and only few are being left ashore after the wave recedes. I do see a bigger picture, but failed to show it.
Yes, I do believe it too that love is always possible. There is no age limit on that. I am talking about just a “romantic” flavour, a small part of expression of her. True, it is the smallest one. Associated with the youth. Two young and beautiful, in love, glowing, radiating happiness, walking in tight embrace, taking time to stop and look into each other’s eyes, to kiss, silly gestures, sweet special gifts of love, crazy things they do, writing poems, climbing balconies, swimming oceans, making love in the fields among the grasses, on a beach, two beautiful bodies merged in artistic confluence …aren’t they look gorgeous…two mature folks, wrinkles and folds and all…same scenarios would just look gross, wouldn’t it? Mature love is different. The lack of careless public display doesn’t make it less, just keeps “to the point”. What I was pondering is that when we dream of love, when we imagine ourselves being in love and with a lover, our view of us is distorted and we imagine being perfect physically and spiritually, being that ideal young and beautiful, just like our dream…then there comes the moment of truth when we look in the mirror and see the reflection and realise that the picture we had in mind was more a caricature, a pathetic cartoon with the funny characters and silly scenarios and that we already missed the train going to the romantic station. What I have realised that being married at 18, I have had only one take at it and it all completed with a marriage. And the interest has gone for all the time while I still was young enough to qualify for the casting. Not a regret as such…just facing a reality of aging.
I very well may stumble into relationship again, I am not saying I will not. But one has to be ready to walk into it, not step over it, when they do stumble. And how to tell if one is ready. I guess, as long as I’m asking myself am I ready or not, that means I’m not likely yet. In the end of a day being in relationship is not the purpose of life. Just a nice embellishment to it to colour one’s days.