Too many said too many words about it. Thought, I’d add mine too. Second Best defined as the next choice when one or more optimum conditions cannot be satisfied. Next down the line of a quality, next to the best. And it could be a good thing compare to no other choice at all. However, there are debates about should we ever settle for the second or should we strive for the best all the time. This is not what I want to say about though. I want to look at it from the other side. Not the one who chooses, but the one who’s chosen. We are all individuals with our own self-value and awareness of self-worth. We might whinge that we do not know of who we are or what we deserve, but in truth, we all have an idea of where our place should be. Some would have it underrated others – over. But the thing is, as long as we don’t compare our place with the places of others, we are generally happy with how far we advanced in our growth. It is the moment when you suddenly learned that while you are the best in maths in your set within your class, you actually not in the best set of your class. You are the best, but only second best. How does this affect you? It limits. It limits in what you can do with your future. With school example, you cannot go to the certain universities or something. In life general the realisation cuts your wings. Levels down inspiration. Imagine, you did your best, you felt satisfied, you saw yourself soaring in the skies. Then one moment all has been re-assessed for the lowest score and you realise your skies were just a ceiling. And while you did the best you can, it was still second best to what was possible.
There are different situations when we take our turn to be the chooser or the chosen. And the more we are chosen as the next-in-line, the less adequate we begin to feel. I was told I was a good wife, but was I ever the best, since he made another choice when he had an opportunity. I am often told I’m a great friend, but most of those who used to say this moved away and never stayed in touch. Am I to believe the words or the actions. Somehow they do not seem synchronised. This used to confuse me a lot in the past, I often had that uncomfortable sense that I am somewhat fake. Being defined as the best and being treated as one are different matters. I have now already learned not to rely on evaluation of me from the others. When I’m truly honest with myself, I can see what I was and what I have become and I can say in positive vanity that although I wasn’t perfect and neither I am now, but what I am now is so much better then what I used to be. So I’m good. And I’m the best of all of the versions of me I have known so far. But sometimes I wonder how does it feels to be the best in the eyes of another. Because frankly, I don’t think I ever had this experience.