Don't you think sometimes we get to get the "signs" to let us know we are on our way?..If I were the believer, I would say that it is the sign above...for now I would shrug my shoulders and tell myself a cute fairy tale how fairies watching over me sending wonders to mark the road...Coming to the office yesterday morning, I saw... a rainbow (!) from my window (this time of year??!!!) I asked a colleague to take a picture of it to print it out and keep at my desk to remind me that in the end of every rain there is a possibility to see a rainbow...I also found a wonderful quote to go with it as well...
*well, until the Hamipics will get sorted ther is no other ways to publish this pic - has to be a separate link to the blank page.
Days are different. Both extreems of emotions still rule my world. I've heard I should let it be and give it a time to complete the process of whatever it is they call "grieving"...we'll see how it goes. for now it does seem like a sensible thing to do - when I simply allow myself to be emotional, the wave appears to pass quicker...I think, I've mentioned already about moods operating in a "wave" rythm...they come and go in turn - ups and downs and there seems to be nothing at all to triger or to sooth either...The strange experience of being detached from your own moods – like a surgeon watching the pang of pain, the heart seizure, totally uncontrollable…I think, they are of the same nature like the episodes of some uncomfortable disease, you just have to clench your teeth and wait it over and then carry on living as if nothing happened. oddly enough it even amuses me sometimes - the switching over is so quick - as if with the snap of the fingers - opsss and here I am, all strong and normal and not a trace of unstoppable stream of tears a moment ago...in some way I'm pleased with myself that I've gone that far so far, that I'm capable to look into myself and see what's going on within. it doesn't make things easier, but at least helps to believe I am still sane...talking to ppl is still a problem though...as if I'm afraid to say it aloud, as if once I say, something would change to the worse...what could possible change?! no reasons for fears, yet no courage for stepping over this stone...I know that eventually I will...
Positive Thought:
I can make my own day without anyone doing the job for me and this is wonderful...and if I won't manage for some reason, I have only myself to blame too...
*well, until the Hamipics will get sorted ther is no other ways to publish this pic - has to be a separate link to the blank page.
Days are different. Both extreems of emotions still rule my world. I've heard I should let it be and give it a time to complete the process of whatever it is they call "grieving"...we'll see how it goes. for now it does seem like a sensible thing to do - when I simply allow myself to be emotional, the wave appears to pass quicker...I think, I've mentioned already about moods operating in a "wave" rythm...they come and go in turn - ups and downs and there seems to be nothing at all to triger or to sooth either...The strange experience of being detached from your own moods – like a surgeon watching the pang of pain, the heart seizure, totally uncontrollable…I think, they are of the same nature like the episodes of some uncomfortable disease, you just have to clench your teeth and wait it over and then carry on living as if nothing happened. oddly enough it even amuses me sometimes - the switching over is so quick - as if with the snap of the fingers - opsss and here I am, all strong and normal and not a trace of unstoppable stream of tears a moment ago...in some way I'm pleased with myself that I've gone that far so far, that I'm capable to look into myself and see what's going on within. it doesn't make things easier, but at least helps to believe I am still sane...talking to ppl is still a problem though...as if I'm afraid to say it aloud, as if once I say, something would change to the worse...what could possible change?! no reasons for fears, yet no courage for stepping over this stone...I know that eventually I will...
Positive Thought:
I can make my own day without anyone doing the job for me and this is wonderful...and if I won't manage for some reason, I have only myself to blame too...