I found that when you think about what you lack of in terms of character, it helps to do so as a side-looker, not stressing over the internal need to be perfect. There is a difference in perception. I can say: “I’m so lazy/insert shortcoming of your choice, I hate myself”
Or I can say: “oh look, I’m lazy, opssss, lets see if I can live with it or need to do something about it” is it really necessary to be perfect. Some shortcomings are so sweet in taste, I wouldn't want to rid of them...with some we can deal in slow pace, step by step stepping out from their influence…
Generally I’m not pleased with the way I look. (it’s a given, I’m a woman, am I?!) And I know I’m not doing enough to look better then that. I have a variety of reasons, but they all are just pitiful excuses, of course. I put a sticker on my mirror it says “could’ve been worse”. And every time I look in it, I sneer at the humorous side of this statement. Well, it is, much better then getting upset by what you see, it makes me smile instead of frown, so it must be good.
Yesterday I discovered the true power of my mind: if I think hard enough how I dislike cutting the grass in my garden, the grass self-mowes. Of course, a subtle presence of a helpful lodger amplifies the power of mind as well. Yet another proof that our thoughts can materialize. I returned from work yesterday and found my lawn being mowed by my lodger. And I haven’t even asked him to do that! It was entirely his own initiative, again, for the second time now. (He did it once before, he must be enjoying lawn mowing too much! LOL) I generally am lucky with the people who happened to come across my path one way or another. I haven’t met truly “bad” evil characters as of yet.
I marveled at the true nature of the idea that when the time is right, you KNOW it. I have accidentally accumulated few fb "friends" that do not make a difference in my world. I didn’t feel comfortable with them peeking into my space, yet it felt too impolite to cut them off. It is my nature to be generally friendly with people. But yesterday I suddenly found myself removing few contacts on a whim, without any planning and second thoughts. It felt so right and easy and straight forward. There must be right time then. I am not cutting off connections. I’m clearing away the unconnected ones. Feels good, more breathing space.
Speaking of the clearing…I’ve been spring cleaning my computer and discovered a file where I dropped few comments I’ve left on a various occasions on a fb. I have totally forgot about it and that I was going to ponder more on them at later time.
It is never too early to think…it is usually too late. Never underestimate the fact that you can think about anything at…any time. And equally you can un-think of it if the thinking gets tougher. Often people get upset when they spend a lot of time “thinking through” about something and not getting anywhere with it. I found that when I spin few thoughts in my mind simultaneously, I usually get results pretty soon. Just the order of finding solutions to the different problems changes its priorities. But at least all gets solved in the end. And in the most comfortable ways too.
The best way to deal with addiction - to give in to it, then you won't have it anymore; it will become your sweet habit. I vaguely remember it was about chocolate.
Sometimes to be balanced is the same as sitting on a motionless swings and expecting to feel the thrill from the mere fact that you are in the right place for it. Balance is boring. Balance is routine. The thrill by definition is getting out of routine, getting unbalanced. It is impossible to orderly decide “I’m going to be thrilled now” and watch adrenalin rushing around inside your body. Thrill is a surprise nudge that knocks you off your balance. Speaking of which...I guess I have to get back to the healthy work/hobby balance though, as while writing random thoughts and depositing them into the Lost World of Webs can be thrilling, it is the payslip that makes the thrill achievable...in a widest sense, that is.