When you are in the process of processing the changes life throws at you, you go through phases…you progress from looking for answers to knowing your answers and then - to acting on them.
In conversation with the one of the Daily Strength’s friends, I said I’m no longer looking for answers to WHY this happened as it did. I know the answers to the extent when I can accept them. I stopped digging deeper. There is no practical use. What I have to do now is to find the answers to the HOW questions. How I can change myself in the new circumstances, what I have to do to bring back self-confidence, not to bring back Old Me, but find a New Me. I dislike the old me now. She was obviously a looser and won’t fit for the life offered to her. Time to get rid of her.
Apart from emotional waves, I am pretty much content. I cannot change the world around me, but at least I can change myself to adapt to this world. Not at all that easy as it sounds, sure, but at least I have no unrealistic targets and impossible dreams – these only frustrate…Being “grounded” sometimes helps to see things in simple perspective. See the purpose in today, stretch for it and if you don’t get it by the evening, move it for tomorrow and try again…the long-time planning is out of question right now…a day might be just the right time-unit to measure progress … maybe eventually I can allow long-term dreams into my life again…
Aha moment: so THAT’s why my weekends have been so difficult: there is no purpose in them! Duh! See: Monday, I’m at work, I have things to do, tasks to complete, places to get to – somewhat a mini-purpose of my day. And as a result – I am reasonable and I’m logical and overall somewhat comfortable in my skin. Sundays have that sense of no need to wake up at all…maybe I’m just being lazy, after all? *shrugs*
In conversation with the one of the Daily Strength’s friends, I said I’m no longer looking for answers to WHY this happened as it did. I know the answers to the extent when I can accept them. I stopped digging deeper. There is no practical use. What I have to do now is to find the answers to the HOW questions. How I can change myself in the new circumstances, what I have to do to bring back self-confidence, not to bring back Old Me, but find a New Me. I dislike the old me now. She was obviously a looser and won’t fit for the life offered to her. Time to get rid of her.
Apart from emotional waves, I am pretty much content. I cannot change the world around me, but at least I can change myself to adapt to this world. Not at all that easy as it sounds, sure, but at least I have no unrealistic targets and impossible dreams – these only frustrate…Being “grounded” sometimes helps to see things in simple perspective. See the purpose in today, stretch for it and if you don’t get it by the evening, move it for tomorrow and try again…the long-time planning is out of question right now…a day might be just the right time-unit to measure progress … maybe eventually I can allow long-term dreams into my life again…
Aha moment: so THAT’s why my weekends have been so difficult: there is no purpose in them! Duh! See: Monday, I’m at work, I have things to do, tasks to complete, places to get to – somewhat a mini-purpose of my day. And as a result – I am reasonable and I’m logical and overall somewhat comfortable in my skin. Sundays have that sense of no need to wake up at all…maybe I’m just being lazy, after all? *shrugs*