I’ve been reading and came across a thought that made me feel good about myself…Apparently, Richard Bandler claimed when he was talking with Virginia Satir, she said to him that what people fear the most is – unknown. And I said to myself hey, I came to the same conclusion even before I’ve heard it from the world’s profound psychologists!
am I pleased or am I pleased with myself?...*smiles*
I’ve also read this in the book:
Do you know what makes it possible for me to trust the unknown? Because I've got eyes, ears, skin. I can talk, I can move, I can feel, and I can think. And that's not going to change when I go into a new context; I've got that. [Virginia Satir]
If you think of it…we never change our basic frame when we changing the context of our existence. We just change our frame of reference, that’s all. They like to call it - the Map. Each of us has got the map of the world around us. Yet the others would have their own maps of the same world. And who is to know for sure what is the world about in reality...they say: the Map is not the Territory. The world around us hasn’t changed any more then it needs to keep the rhythm of existence. We haven’t changed, apart from perhaps, those extra pounds of a good life pleasures deposited on our hips and bellies. We just turned a little bit and noticed the other side of the same things; with the experiences we have gathered before we can now see something different about familiar…so what if we don’t like what we see…we just have to turn a little bit more and find the viewpoint that we feel comfortable with…
It is a popular saying that any relationships are a hard work. I believe the sense has been lost somewhere out of it and people assume the hard work as in doing something for another, changing self to please the other more. I think what it means is just changing the way you see your loved one, that’s all there is to it, really. As you become to know deeply the other person you make a conscious decision of what you will tolerate about them because what you love about them is so much more then that. No one's perfect. It's time you stopped being surprised by this. The question is, do you take this bundle of faults over some other bundle of faults…
It occurred to me that all the time I’ve been pondering about things happening in relationships. And I’m not even having one…some years ago I’ve been accused of speaking of love when I don’t even know what love is. So to avoid the same accusations again, I will speak of my single self from now on. Indeed, what would I know about the relationships, I have only sole 24 year-hands-on experience and it happened to become a failure…*grin*
But before I’ll go solo, I have something else to say about relationships. It’s about grief. It is not with regards to my own situation. But something for my friend to make a notice. When we are grieving for something that is gone from our life, when we seem like stuck in our memories unable to move anywhere on our own…we have to ask ourselves: If we’d have this magic opportunity to erase any memory of them from our mind, so that we will feel no pain, as if never knowing the person that’s gone, would we do it? Would we want not to have all these wonderful memories of a good times we had with them in the past for the sake of not having a broken heart in the now?...the very fact that our heart is broken means we have had something worthy with this person. And like with anything valuable, we should really treasure the memories and be proud that we have them. What is more important – to pass to the others good memories of the person who’s gone or forever associate their life with the pain their departure brought to you personally…the person has only left us once. But it is us who can stuck in crying our good byes for every day afterwards…yet another wise thought someone shared with me ages ago…
am I pleased or am I pleased with myself?...*smiles*
I’ve also read this in the book:
Do you know what makes it possible for me to trust the unknown? Because I've got eyes, ears, skin. I can talk, I can move, I can feel, and I can think. And that's not going to change when I go into a new context; I've got that. [Virginia Satir]
If you think of it…we never change our basic frame when we changing the context of our existence. We just change our frame of reference, that’s all. They like to call it - the Map. Each of us has got the map of the world around us. Yet the others would have their own maps of the same world. And who is to know for sure what is the world about in reality...they say: the Map is not the Territory. The world around us hasn’t changed any more then it needs to keep the rhythm of existence. We haven’t changed, apart from perhaps, those extra pounds of a good life pleasures deposited on our hips and bellies. We just turned a little bit and noticed the other side of the same things; with the experiences we have gathered before we can now see something different about familiar…so what if we don’t like what we see…we just have to turn a little bit more and find the viewpoint that we feel comfortable with…
It is a popular saying that any relationships are a hard work. I believe the sense has been lost somewhere out of it and people assume the hard work as in doing something for another, changing self to please the other more. I think what it means is just changing the way you see your loved one, that’s all there is to it, really. As you become to know deeply the other person you make a conscious decision of what you will tolerate about them because what you love about them is so much more then that. No one's perfect. It's time you stopped being surprised by this. The question is, do you take this bundle of faults over some other bundle of faults…
It occurred to me that all the time I’ve been pondering about things happening in relationships. And I’m not even having one…some years ago I’ve been accused of speaking of love when I don’t even know what love is. So to avoid the same accusations again, I will speak of my single self from now on. Indeed, what would I know about the relationships, I have only sole 24 year-hands-on experience and it happened to become a failure…*grin*
But before I’ll go solo, I have something else to say about relationships. It’s about grief. It is not with regards to my own situation. But something for my friend to make a notice. When we are grieving for something that is gone from our life, when we seem like stuck in our memories unable to move anywhere on our own…we have to ask ourselves: If we’d have this magic opportunity to erase any memory of them from our mind, so that we will feel no pain, as if never knowing the person that’s gone, would we do it? Would we want not to have all these wonderful memories of a good times we had with them in the past for the sake of not having a broken heart in the now?...the very fact that our heart is broken means we have had something worthy with this person. And like with anything valuable, we should really treasure the memories and be proud that we have them. What is more important – to pass to the others good memories of the person who’s gone or forever associate their life with the pain their departure brought to you personally…the person has only left us once. But it is us who can stuck in crying our good byes for every day afterwards…yet another wise thought someone shared with me ages ago…