Sometimes you live as if you're watching movie. With self in a leading role. The eerie feeling that whatever is happening is happening with the one on screen, not with the one who sits there, watching…no physical senses, no taste, no smell, no texture…just a flat image of yourself, stripped of 3D reality to the blueprints of cinematograph…or mayby I'm mistaking this with the process of writing the scenario for your own self...maybe we "think through" the plot first and then the life happenned to us according to it?...
...Somewhere in the very corner of my mind lingers the hidden thought about imperfection...I thought I got rid of her long ago...apparently, she is still here...treacherously licking my soul right now, pulling by sleeve - let's go, let's jump into the bottomless self-pity and make passionate love with sensations of guilt, insignificance and embarrassment...let's have group orgy and rape your halo of a saint...tear off your clothes in uncontrolled gesture...bite your nakedness...squeeze your heart so that it won't feel shame anymore...let's have you in all ways possible...why not? to front...to the back...gag your mouth...in the end of a day, we all do occasionally ravish our very own souls...
...Delusions, regrets,uncertainties. Beliefs, hopes, love. All of it is in the air. Oh, I'd like to grow something worthy out of it, but I'm a bad gardener and have only grown weeds so far. Species - Burdock. Assignment - simpleton. Destiny - compost. Constant flow of Life. And Death...
Better not to have any thoughts at all, then to have too much of them and then discovered their uselessness…There is a need in me to speak in delusion...I'm fulfilling it in this place...dare to stop me...
...don't you just hate weekends...
...Somewhere in the very corner of my mind lingers the hidden thought about imperfection...I thought I got rid of her long ago...apparently, she is still here...treacherously licking my soul right now, pulling by sleeve - let's go, let's jump into the bottomless self-pity and make passionate love with sensations of guilt, insignificance and embarrassment...let's have group orgy and rape your halo of a saint...tear off your clothes in uncontrolled gesture...bite your nakedness...squeeze your heart so that it won't feel shame anymore...let's have you in all ways possible...why not? to front...to the back...gag your mouth...in the end of a day, we all do occasionally ravish our very own souls...
...Delusions, regrets,uncertainties. Beliefs, hopes, love. All of it is in the air. Oh, I'd like to grow something worthy out of it, but I'm a bad gardener and have only grown weeds so far. Species - Burdock. Assignment - simpleton. Destiny - compost. Constant flow of Life. And Death...
Better not to have any thoughts at all, then to have too much of them and then discovered their uselessness…There is a need in me to speak in delusion...I'm fulfilling it in this place...dare to stop me...
...don't you just hate weekends...