I do appreciate the comments left on previous entry and I agree with what everyone said. However, what I meant was slightly different. I’m not complaining that people closest to us do not know all the sides of us. What I was pondering about is how we can be disinterested in what is not concerned us directly…like Chaya said “you aren't paying attention...”
It is the same as when children perform on a school stage and they would want their parents be there, watch them, applaud to their success, be proud for them…although parents do know children very close, seen them in their best and worst, yet still there is that need to be known as something else. And even if the performance is a success and made them famous in their own school world, it is still not as much joy as when shared with the family…Or, say, in sport… when we proud of our achievements, we want to share it with the special people in our life, not just general public.
So when a friend or a family member tells me: I don’t read your diary because we share more then this already, I found this somewhat a disappointment. Am I appreciated for the person I am, or only for what I give? Is it ethical to say hey, I think, I wrote an interesting thought in my diary, would you like to read it? To force someone to do something they might not like, but will pretend they do to please me…to me this is way too off my social limits. I can make a joke at myself, but to be bold enough to say I’m anxious to know if you like my writings…no…I am not… It’s an irony that we value the most an acknowledgement of those who are interested the less…
This is not about comments... I said to someone already: I write my diary to put my own thoughts in order...(well and also to have a record of how I see the world when I travel around, of course). It is about the authenticity of sharing...there is that part of me, some find her interesting. it is a pity that others seem to miss it...
On a trivial matter of a day though, everything seems to be as it should...in-laws staying with us for two months (yes please, sympathy expressions are accepted). I have a rare opportunity to spend an intimate evening with my computer without being interrupted "just for a second" every other second. I have lots of complains on the job matters and hay fever matters, but they are just boring, so I won't be bothered...I've also booked my holidays for September, but for the first time done this before I know where I am going this time...something to occupy my mind during the summer, eh? oh, and btw: have you listened to the latest album of Bon Jovi - Lost Highway - it's pure joy!
It is the same as when children perform on a school stage and they would want their parents be there, watch them, applaud to their success, be proud for them…although parents do know children very close, seen them in their best and worst, yet still there is that need to be known as something else. And even if the performance is a success and made them famous in their own school world, it is still not as much joy as when shared with the family…Or, say, in sport… when we proud of our achievements, we want to share it with the special people in our life, not just general public.
So when a friend or a family member tells me: I don’t read your diary because we share more then this already, I found this somewhat a disappointment. Am I appreciated for the person I am, or only for what I give? Is it ethical to say hey, I think, I wrote an interesting thought in my diary, would you like to read it? To force someone to do something they might not like, but will pretend they do to please me…to me this is way too off my social limits. I can make a joke at myself, but to be bold enough to say I’m anxious to know if you like my writings…no…I am not… It’s an irony that we value the most an acknowledgement of those who are interested the less…
This is not about comments... I said to someone already: I write my diary to put my own thoughts in order...(well and also to have a record of how I see the world when I travel around, of course). It is about the authenticity of sharing...there is that part of me, some find her interesting. it is a pity that others seem to miss it...
On a trivial matter of a day though, everything seems to be as it should...in-laws staying with us for two months (yes please, sympathy expressions are accepted). I have a rare opportunity to spend an intimate evening with my computer without being interrupted "just for a second" every other second. I have lots of complains on the job matters and hay fever matters, but they are just boring, so I won't be bothered...I've also booked my holidays for September, but for the first time done this before I know where I am going this time...something to occupy my mind during the summer, eh? oh, and btw: have you listened to the latest album of Bon Jovi - Lost Highway - it's pure joy!