Office Wizdom | DearDiary.Net

While waiting for this stupid server to complete what it's doing, found some "encouraging" quotes (got to print them out and stick on the wall):

1. When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen.
2. When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it's probably obsolete.
3. The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you least expect to find it.
4. When the going gets tough, upgrade.
5. For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction.
6. To err is human. . .to blame your computer for your mistakes is even more human, it's downright natural.
7. He who laughs last probably made a back-up.
8. If at first you don't succeed, blame your computer.
9. A complex system that does not work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine.
10. The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions.
11. A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want to do.

~Ahhh, the realities of life!~

As a former network administrator, I can sympathize with your situation greatly. Therefore, I've decided to leave you with an often seen, but still very funny, list of special Windows Haiku. Enjoy!!

A file that big
It might be very useful
But now it is gone.

The Web site you seek
cannot be located but
countless more exist.

Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot
Order shall return.

Aborted effort
Close all that you have worked on
You ask far too much.

Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death
No one hears your screams.

Yesterday it worked
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.

First snow, then silence
This thousand-dollar screen dies
so beautifully.

With searching comes loss
and the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found.

The Zen that is seen
is not the true Zen until
you bring fresh toner.

Stay the patient course
Of little worth is your ire.
The network is down.

A crash reduces
your expensive computer
to a simple stone.

Three things are certain
Death, taxes, and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.

You step in the stream
but the water has moved on.
This page is not here.

Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky
but we never will.

Having been erased
the document you're seeking
must now be retyped.

Serious error
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

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