MissTick
Thingish Things

We get to meet many people throughout our life. Different people, different life’s attitudes, different views on life. Every one has the right one, of course. Each of us knows exactly how life should be lived. This knowledge comes with the experiences. We dealt with situations, we learned from them and for the every next one we adjust how we deal with situations. Like they say…once bitten…we are confident that we know the only right way, the only good way. And by our actions we force others to accept our way too. We are “parenting” them. Like when we’d tell a child do not stick the fingers in the socket. Not because we don’t want them to become curious explorers and keen learners, but because we know it’ll hurt. I think that most of the kids would still put their fingers in…mainly because they have special attitude towards forbidden things. Label it “forbidden” and it will become a magnet, attracting curious mind even more then ever. How much does it hurt, how does the electric shock feels on your skin, where do the sparks go…and the most dangerous kind of question: why is this forbidden for me, they suspect there is a secret there, their parents do not want them to find out. And immediately to find out becomes an itch...never tell a child not to do...let them learn. It will hurt less.

Being a responsible adult, I do not indulge myself to the questions of what could’ve happened if…but the question why I’m forbidden to have this experience does cross my mind every now and then. Safety is never a satisfying explanation. I remember I’ve tried to explain to someone once that me preventing certain course of events was based on my good intentions to keep them from the pain inevitable. Because I love them, I did not want them to be hurt. The reply I had: I’m a grown up, let me choose my own pains. I’ve learned back then that people get hurt not necessary for being unaware of the danger. But sometimes we choose the way we know might lead to the pain because we know this pain will be worth it. That what we’ll have before the pay day will worth every drop of blood, every tear spilled afterwards.

Here is an interesting question now. If we know it might hurt, do we still prefer to have an amazing experience for the price of an ouch or would we rather duck in and have a plain but oh so safe lifetime, never knowing what we are missing. If it would be your choice, would you choose your child never have a thrilling sensation of a free fall or power over the machine speed riding a motorbike, or catching sparks of the fireworks in their bare hands with such a pure joy in their eyes it makes you envy.

When I walked a line and it hurt and I’ve learned a lesson, I am tempted to close this door for those I love in all my good intentions. But walk a mile in shoes of those happened to arrive into your afterexperience. See it through their eyes. Deprive them from an experience you considered worthy enough to indulge yourself. And then, looking straight into their eyes, try to find the words to explain why…a typical case of unintended cruelty is it not..

I received not so good news this morning. It’s about my dad. I might have to fly over there…life never forgets to keep us alerted, relaxing leads to punishment in this classroom.