I’ve done something I casted as inappropriate and was embarrassed because of that. It was only for a brief moment, and most likely it hasn’t been even noticed by others, yet few days later and my emotional state is still affected by my own memories of the event. And despite of the fact my mind fully understands this feeling of embarrassment belongs to me and to me only, it’s been somewhat difficult to stop feeling this way. This made me think about where does embarrassment come from.
I think, we tend to feel embarrassed when our own internal standards are violated. Ever felt ashamed for someone else? I do it all the time, for example, watching bad performance of an actor or else. Sometimes I would sigh: why on earth did they think they can perform… Or even more aggressive: who do they think they are to come out there and manage that poorly…well, anyway, something like that. The thing is…they obviously do not feel embarrassed, otherwise why would they be out there, but I do! Isn’t it amazing? Do I have higher standards of public performance quality that they do? It sure looks like it. Actually, I like it perfect, but that’s just shows how annoyingly contemptuous I can be...he he…and in any case, it's entirely my own problem and not their's.
I’ve noticed how we linger on the mistakes we make longer then on the achievements we managed. It seems as if when I make a mistake, everyone would notice and when I’m at my best, no one seems to pay attention. I believe, this is a wrong perception. We equally do not care of neither. We are so consumed in our own faults and perfections that we hardly have any time to look up for somebody else’s. Embarrassment is 100% dependant on your own view of the situation and not on what other people think
However, for the person who did make a mistake his mistake is all-consuming and moved to the front within his vision of the world, obstructing the view. Some people think that they are what they do. They think that if they made a mistake then they are faulty or inadequate, they depend on external factors to feel worthy and when they lose any of these external factors they lose their self confidence with it.
I didn’t do something wrong, I did something I feel uncomfortable thinking of it afterwards, so what do you do with that? I’ve tried my tested approach of “let it pass” and it didn’t work that well. Maybe this only works for emotions we have inflicted on us by the others? Perhaps, when we understand that it was not in our control, we find it easier to “weather out” the emotion? The embarrassment was my very own and there seemed to be no other way to deal with it then to persuade myself that it’s ok to make a mistake every now and then. In the end of a day, we are only human. And if we don’t make mistakes, then we should be a perfect human. Common, as responsible adults we do not believe in fairy tales – there is no perfect human exists. There are, however, somewhat 6.7 billion “normal” humans on the planet. Guess, I should be glad I’m one of them.
I think, we tend to feel embarrassed when our own internal standards are violated. Ever felt ashamed for someone else? I do it all the time, for example, watching bad performance of an actor or else. Sometimes I would sigh: why on earth did they think they can perform… Or even more aggressive: who do they think they are to come out there and manage that poorly…well, anyway, something like that. The thing is…they obviously do not feel embarrassed, otherwise why would they be out there, but I do! Isn’t it amazing? Do I have higher standards of public performance quality that they do? It sure looks like it. Actually, I like it perfect, but that’s just shows how annoyingly contemptuous I can be...he he…and in any case, it's entirely my own problem and not their's.
I’ve noticed how we linger on the mistakes we make longer then on the achievements we managed. It seems as if when I make a mistake, everyone would notice and when I’m at my best, no one seems to pay attention. I believe, this is a wrong perception. We equally do not care of neither. We are so consumed in our own faults and perfections that we hardly have any time to look up for somebody else’s. Embarrassment is 100% dependant on your own view of the situation and not on what other people think
However, for the person who did make a mistake his mistake is all-consuming and moved to the front within his vision of the world, obstructing the view. Some people think that they are what they do. They think that if they made a mistake then they are faulty or inadequate, they depend on external factors to feel worthy and when they lose any of these external factors they lose their self confidence with it.
I didn’t do something wrong, I did something I feel uncomfortable thinking of it afterwards, so what do you do with that? I’ve tried my tested approach of “let it pass” and it didn’t work that well. Maybe this only works for emotions we have inflicted on us by the others? Perhaps, when we understand that it was not in our control, we find it easier to “weather out” the emotion? The embarrassment was my very own and there seemed to be no other way to deal with it then to persuade myself that it’s ok to make a mistake every now and then. In the end of a day, we are only human. And if we don’t make mistakes, then we should be a perfect human. Common, as responsible adults we do not believe in fairy tales – there is no perfect human exists. There are, however, somewhat 6.7 billion “normal” humans on the planet. Guess, I should be glad I’m one of them.