A question has been raised about something…I am still to read the reference. Until then I can only say what kind of thinking this idea has stirred in my mind…
I want to emphasize, that this is not my current mood, but only – a mind-playing with the idea...preoccupation...search for the answer...
When we are dying…do we want to see anyone? What I mean: it is a common practice to come and see the dying person, if they are close to you, right? But – what for? The way I see it: this is only good for those, who left to live, but not for those who is going to die…
I closed my eyes and imagined for a moment, that I am old and it is my last hour…I am afraid of death [why should I not be?] The fear is not about physical pain, but mostly – about unimaginable feeling that there will be no more….nothing…That I will not see anything and anyone anymore, will not feel anymore, will not hear, will not touch, smell…
I’ve started to think about what it is that I will feel most painful not to have anymore…I think, that it is what I don’t have, that will cause the most cruel torment. I know that there is so much more to have, then I have already and the understanding that I will never have a chance to have it, to live it…I think, this would be the most painful to comrehend...Would I want to see all those loved ones that I will never see again? In my last hour, I doubt that this would ease the pain of inevitable. I believe that this would be SO painful, I could die..but then again – it would be a process of dying anyway, wouldn’t it?...[Duh!]
To come to see dying people could only be a comfort for the living ones. It is their wish to have all they still can, while they still can…so that they will go after carrying last image of those they love in their heart…
No I don’t think that for the one who is leaving this world to see what they can’t have any more would be a consolation before departure…And yes – I am afraid to die…
Found quote that says exactly the same, only shorter and smarter :-) :
”I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.” [~R. Geis]