Ok, lets have some laughs here. On other’s expenses, of course, as I’m not that smart as to making up jokes. I’m, however, smart enough to “borrow” them and pass them further. So there – laugh if it’s feels funny to you:
First of all – a friend sent me this link – you should really check it out. I particular advice you to see their About section…well, the Shop is good too. In the wasteland of the internet filled with lots of crap still some gems could be found :- ) Further In my aimless surfing I’ve found few advices which I found useful enough to share (hmmm “I found which I found” – doesn’t sound quite right, but who cares anyway?):
Courtesy of VIZ site:
DON'T waste money on expensive ipods. Simply think of your favourite tune and hum it. If you want to "switch tracks", simply think of another song you like and hum that instead
WOMEN Don't waste energy faking orgasms. Most men couldn't give a shit anyway and you could use the saved energy to hoover the house after you've been banged.
PREVENT burglars stealing everything in the house by simply moving everything in the house into your bedroom when you go to bed. In the morning, simply move it all back again.
MOTORISTS Avoid getting prosecuted for using your phone whilst driving. Simply pop your mobile inside a large shell and the police will think you are listening to the sea.
SHOPPERS When buying oranges, get more for your money by peeling them before taking them to the counter to be weighed
WORRIED that your teeth will be stained after a heavy night drinking red wine? Simply drink a bottle of white wine before going to bed to remove the stains
EMPLOYERS Avoid hiring unlucky people by immediately tossing half the CVs into the bin
A professional advice from network administrator:
Ways To Make Your Wireless Network More Secure
11. Wrap your house in tin foil.
10. Use 801.11Zmodem protocol.
9. Rig the microwave so it runs with the door open.
8. Declare your neighborhood a "no-fly zone".
7. Set landmines for war drivers.
6. Pay the kid next door not to hack your network.
5. Don't remove the shrinkwrap from the router.
4. Block open ports with peanut butter.
3. Stop using 123456 as your login.
2.Turn the router upside down - that'll fool them.
1.Two words: Antenna enlargement.
And finally, to complete my Official Bollocks Day – A Queen of All Entries – A Quizzy (professional):
First of all – a friend sent me this link – you should really check it out. I particular advice you to see their About section…well, the Shop is good too. In the wasteland of the internet filled with lots of crap still some gems could be found :- ) Further In my aimless surfing I’ve found few advices which I found useful enough to share (hmmm “I found which I found” – doesn’t sound quite right, but who cares anyway?):
Courtesy of VIZ site:
DON'T waste money on expensive ipods. Simply think of your favourite tune and hum it. If you want to "switch tracks", simply think of another song you like and hum that instead
WOMEN Don't waste energy faking orgasms. Most men couldn't give a shit anyway and you could use the saved energy to hoover the house after you've been banged.
PREVENT burglars stealing everything in the house by simply moving everything in the house into your bedroom when you go to bed. In the morning, simply move it all back again.
MOTORISTS Avoid getting prosecuted for using your phone whilst driving. Simply pop your mobile inside a large shell and the police will think you are listening to the sea.
SHOPPERS When buying oranges, get more for your money by peeling them before taking them to the counter to be weighed
WORRIED that your teeth will be stained after a heavy night drinking red wine? Simply drink a bottle of white wine before going to bed to remove the stains
EMPLOYERS Avoid hiring unlucky people by immediately tossing half the CVs into the bin
A professional advice from network administrator:
Ways To Make Your Wireless Network More Secure
11. Wrap your house in tin foil.
10. Use 801.11Zmodem protocol.
9. Rig the microwave so it runs with the door open.
8. Declare your neighborhood a "no-fly zone".
7. Set landmines for war drivers.
6. Pay the kid next door not to hack your network.
5. Don't remove the shrinkwrap from the router.
4. Block open ports with peanut butter.
3. Stop using 123456 as your login.
2.Turn the router upside down - that'll fool them.
1.Two words: Antenna enlargement.
And finally, to complete my Official Bollocks Day – A Queen of All Entries – A Quizzy (professional):
