The days are busy. If I’d have to give advice to anyone on a new renovation project, I’d say: don’t start it. But of course, in the end, the reward of having a place that produces positive emotions every time you walk in there will be well worth it. That’s the idea anyway and right now I’m still not in the position to say it is true. But I soon will find out. Just a few final stretches left to complete what I’ve started and by far this has been the most difficult project of all the projects I’ve undertaken so far. Hopefully I will say it is over very soon. *fingers crossed*
I’m amazed how much difference a little change can make. I truly believed I’m an independent strong woman and there is nothing I cannot do myself. And I was and I am, in a way. What I have discovered though that it is ever so easy to “fall back” to being “weak” again, as soon as you’ll get an option of being helped, suddenly you feel like you cannot deal with things on your own anymore. I’ve found a volunteer helper and this has changed my confidence in myself. Perhaps, I’m thinking too much into this and I surely am glad I’m helped. Yet I am also somewhat slightly bothered by the easiness with which I’ve returned to being dependant on someone else again. Not totally dependant, mind you, but to that comfortable “you’re better at it, you do it” attitude.
There was pretty much nothing else boiling in my mind that is of importance enough to be mentioned. And a few things that I'm reluctant to mention at this particular moment, as these kind of thoughts are still in brewing. Though I want to say my word on Japan. I didn’t feel inclined when it was on everybody’s tongues, the media kind of made the news kind of almost annoying. I preferred to watch the witness's youtube reports and make up my own viewpoint more then getting wind up by the agitated screams about what went wrong in the country that used to be “best prepared”. It is a natural disaster, no one can be ever prepared to it, what are you talking about, the nature is always superior. But I have noticed how the whole coverage has been somewhat not as "sympathetic" as it could’ve been, not much “humanly kind”. Not much was said of affected lives and a lot of sceptical analysis of Japanese technology.
There were people. Children. Old. Sick. People who had dreams, plans for future. The ones who enjoyed their simple life by the sea. They estimate there might be up to 25000 of those. For the country as small as Japan the amount of victims is way too much. They are burying them in mass graves…that says a lot, doesn’t it.
What was and is the most impressive thing to me personally is the ability of people in Japan to cope with disaster of such scale. Words cannot express my deepest respect for them. They are truly The Everyday Heroes. Think of how a departure of the loved one can devastate us for a long time of grieving. How it can change our life, change routines, change our will to carry on with the living. What they have to deal with is so much more then that. Yet it is amazing how they do their best to keep an order, to carry on, how they do come together in a greatest effort to bring life back to normal…in the best possible way that is possible. When I think of this Earthquake, I think more of the people who survived and what they might have on their minds and in their hearts. Tainted forever by the event they happenned to live through. Suddenly unconsciously the shadows of Chernobyl, Katrina step forward from the dark corners of my memory to make a point clearer…different worlds, different attitudes…same human beings…and there is something in there that makes all the difference...