A couple of hours drive and slightly over an hour up in the air. This is all it takes to get to another world from here. Quicker then to drive across the same country at times. So when I’ve been asked if I fancy to come to a party, I said yes, why not. The party was in celebration of a birthday of my distant relative. The party was in Germany. I do travel a lot, yet it still amuses me how easy it is to get around the continent for a weekend. This is one of the few things I love about living where I am.
The weekend spent exactly what it was planned for – partying big time. Though on German land, it was an authentic Russian party, two days of food, drinks and entertainment. The empty bottles count - 18th of vodka’s, 16th of champagne, 5 of wines and few random labels of liquors and cognacs. That and of course the unlimited beer on tap approved as an "optional soft drink”. Mind you, there was also some dancing, singing and party games. Actually, a lot. I found it refreshingly different from the usual British idea of fun with the snacks plate on your lap, a glass of wine on a floor by your chair and collective whinge about the weather. You might’ve guess by now that I enjoyed my German weekend to the fullest. It was also a nice change from the quiet Christmas break that I spent in total solitude. Though I would say that each has its own purpose and neither left a sense of dissatisfaction. So it’s all good then.
Recently I’ve spent about 10 hours helping out with computer set up and basic training for my friend’s dad. At the end the friend said to me: gee, you are so patient, I would’ve given up many times long ago! I’ve heard this a lot, the comment about patience. I am aware this is what others perceive of me. Let me share my tip of being “patient”. It is really easy, once you understand what being patient means. To me being patient means being fully aware of what is in your control and what isn’t. I can teach someone in very efficient way, show them the easy steps, use visuals, associations, whatever works the best for particular pupil. My teaching methods are under my control. What I cannot control, however, is the physical abilities of the person, their attention span or difficulties with the motions. Neither I can affect the efficiency of their memory. So, as much as I would wish to speed up the process of passing the knowledge, as much as I do all I can from my side, it is still depends on the other side just as much. Age is not something we can control. We might feel young in mind and heart, we might be inspired to learn new and exciting technologies, but on cellular level there is only so much we can take in. So what is the point of giving up or going crazy about something that wouldn’t change no matter what you do or do not do. It is like complaining about “bloody weather”, when all that is truly deserved to be blamed is our own inability to cope with it.
Patience is nothing but the awareness of your own limitations. When I’m asked to wait, do I have any other choice? Even if waiting is the last thing I ever want to be doing, honestly, what else can I? Because whatever actions I might take, none of them would be to the plans of another and therefore will not get any cooperation from their side, taking me even further away from my own need. I can, of course, give up and walk away and never attempt again. I can as well stage a tantrum and express my point of view eloquently. And then what would it change if not limit me even more. It is true that when asked to be patient, I retrieve into silence. Not to give space asked for, but to give myself a chance to overcome first impulse of reaction. Because the truth is, I’m not good at waiting and I’m not good at refraining from doing something I really want to do. And I do get upset and irritated and sometimes dangerously angry when I’m asked to be patient unreasonably. But every time I do, I say to myself: it’s not yours, it is their choice and all you can choose is to go along with it. Or give it up completely. There are few occasions in my life when I have chosen the latter.