First day of my new year…My Own New Year. The first day of the rest of my life… Wake up in tears, as usual. Not Good. Day had no planned events, so cried myself back to sleep and when woke up the second time, I was all right…I’m wondering if there is that special part of our dream that is more favorable state for awakening then other parts of it? and if there is, how one can possibly “know” when it is a “good” time to get up…
Last year happened to be so much a disaster for me, It sucked into the disastrous state the things that have little connection to my personal crisis. Even such a stupid thing as buying furniture for my renovated bedroom didn’t went very well last year! I just have to share this, as this is ridiculously funny story and thanks god I can now laugh at myself being such a nuisance. But, of course, yesterday I was totally not up to laughing at all! Two days before New Year I bought the wardrobes for the bedroom. All was fine and I was looking forward to the early delivery on the 2nd of January! On 31st I suddenly decided to re-measure the room. Not that I didn’t do it before buying, something pushed me to re-check myself. I think, what followed could be easily guessed. They won’t fit!!!!!!! Aarrrrrrrggg!
Gave me few moments of cold sweat…then I’ve remembered the invention of such a useful thing as telephone. Called the delivery company – cancelled the order, called the store to let them know I’ll be returning goods… pheewwwww…managed to arrange all back before they closed!!!! So ok, the old year was so mean to me even tried to mess up with my purchases (I know that it was my own fault, okay, but let me be a little childish and push the blame for MY innocent mistake onto something else) it was just a bit too much to happen all in one year, you know.
BUT…but but but…here it is – it’s the totally New Year today and the totally New Life begins for the totally New Me (well, I guess I will still have to work on the “totally” in this one) and today I bought another New Furniture for my New Bedroom. Yey! And you thought I’ve mentioned my anti-buyer’s skills before for no reason?! Maybe it’s a special feature of me – not to buy the right things from the first attempt????
Anyway, I’ve decided to give myself a little something every day. And I don’t mean – to buy myself a present every day. But I mean – to write something nice or inspiring or simply something kind for me. Every day. Regardless of how tough a day might be, how dark my thoughts may come, regardless how down I might feel, if I can find a little something to say to me despite of the circumstances, then maybe, just maybe I will get better in taking things as they are…
So, today is the first day. And we don’t get to know what life prepared for us for tomorrow. It might be a lot of hurt or a lot of healing…And I want to make a wish that if there is still more hurt to come my way, I wish that it will be a lesser pain that I’ve already endured. From the other hand…there is no point to wish for something you have no control over, isn’t it? I cannot change the ways of the others. I can, however, change my own ways. So, truly a wish should sound like this: if there is still more hurt to come my way, I wish to become strong enough to take it with a lesser pain.
Last year happened to be so much a disaster for me, It sucked into the disastrous state the things that have little connection to my personal crisis. Even such a stupid thing as buying furniture for my renovated bedroom didn’t went very well last year! I just have to share this, as this is ridiculously funny story and thanks god I can now laugh at myself being such a nuisance. But, of course, yesterday I was totally not up to laughing at all! Two days before New Year I bought the wardrobes for the bedroom. All was fine and I was looking forward to the early delivery on the 2nd of January! On 31st I suddenly decided to re-measure the room. Not that I didn’t do it before buying, something pushed me to re-check myself. I think, what followed could be easily guessed. They won’t fit!!!!!!! Aarrrrrrrggg!
Gave me few moments of cold sweat…then I’ve remembered the invention of such a useful thing as telephone. Called the delivery company – cancelled the order, called the store to let them know I’ll be returning goods… pheewwwww…managed to arrange all back before they closed!!!! So ok, the old year was so mean to me even tried to mess up with my purchases (I know that it was my own fault, okay, but let me be a little childish and push the blame for MY innocent mistake onto something else) it was just a bit too much to happen all in one year, you know.
BUT…but but but…here it is – it’s the totally New Year today and the totally New Life begins for the totally New Me (well, I guess I will still have to work on the “totally” in this one) and today I bought another New Furniture for my New Bedroom. Yey! And you thought I’ve mentioned my anti-buyer’s skills before for no reason?! Maybe it’s a special feature of me – not to buy the right things from the first attempt????
Anyway, I’ve decided to give myself a little something every day. And I don’t mean – to buy myself a present every day. But I mean – to write something nice or inspiring or simply something kind for me. Every day. Regardless of how tough a day might be, how dark my thoughts may come, regardless how down I might feel, if I can find a little something to say to me despite of the circumstances, then maybe, just maybe I will get better in taking things as they are…
So, today is the first day. And we don’t get to know what life prepared for us for tomorrow. It might be a lot of hurt or a lot of healing…And I want to make a wish that if there is still more hurt to come my way, I wish that it will be a lesser pain that I’ve already endured. From the other hand…there is no point to wish for something you have no control over, isn’t it? I cannot change the ways of the others. I can, however, change my own ways. So, truly a wish should sound like this: if there is still more hurt to come my way, I wish to become strong enough to take it with a lesser pain.