"You haven't updated for 130 days"...tsk tsk...DD said this to me as I finally made it here today...(and I said "tsk tsk" to this coz, who knew, it was THAT long?! certainly not me)
I wonder if being self-disciplined means - being pedantic with the tasks in hand an push them along no matter what your state of mind is...what was my state of mind? mostly lazy, I guess...I also guess that when you've got commitment to share same things with different parties, eventually you loose motivation to tell it all over again, as you get to yet another space you feel obliged to update...
I am ashamed of myself...and will do my best to finish off my travel tales of Vietnam, starting from next entry...just because, as unmotivated as I am, I am also a great lot of pedantic and can't have half of the story told...
Just not in this entry yet...this place came to mind when I decided I need to record two thoughts of reflection, before I forgot what they were. (after all, this evil age effect tends to erase things from memory much faster than I can officially state)...
So, two thoughts to remember and, hopefully, there will be time when I come back to explore them deeper...
Thought#1.
when we age, we feel more and more "alone", but this "alone" is not because we feel we are not needed or missed by anyone, but more because we fulfilled our life's mission by now, you know, "built the house", "planted the tree", "brought up children" - that kind of stuff...and now when we stopped and look back to admire the results, we noticed how all of these things we used to make our main purpose in life, have moved away from us as if we see them through the inverted looking glass...doesn't that makes you feel painfully "alone", where the only one that still cares about what you do and what you feel is - you...
Thought#2.
the reason older people like to talk more about their past rather then about present or future is because as it becomes less and less of those who remember the same times as you, we kind of loosing identity - our place in the world that has changed so much, we no longer recognise it...so, reminiscing about times we remember with those who remember them too sort of "validates" us. Helps us find where we belong. Try to talk to the other generations about things you know and love and you find there is a limit of how much you can share and how much of their view of the world you can take in...I like to have a conversation about "remember when..." it makes me feel my life was real, I was real...and so was the World...
Comments (4)
I hope your doing good!!
I was thinking about your point #1 just the other day, how those I raised go on to live their lives and I'm just on the side looking on. I'm happy for them and proud they are respectable members of society, but lonely in that they don’t 'need' me. I just got me to take care of.
exactly that!
for more then 40 years I was living my life as a wife, a mother, a carer and for the last 3 years, as my mother's gone, it's just me...I also happy for kids having their life in order and manage without me, just like we used to manage at the same stage in our life...I don't have problem with occupying my life with "things to do", yet on rare occasions I do feel that acute lack of being "lost" without others in my day...that thought of "who knows best what you need, but only you" and that kind of need that you can't "ask for" from the others...
It's interesting about #2... I think that describes the vast majority of people, for the reason you mentioned. But I have to say, for some odd reason, which I certainly don't think is 'morally superior' in any way... I tend to stay in the present, and actively seek out (sometimes is a tough job).... the future. Even if it's just what I want to do tomorrow. I count ALL the tiny wins. Every one. And if I have to make up a future to look forward to, I do it. 🤪😂
It's so good to hear from you. I like to read your philosophical views of life....