Finding the Time to Write Today
Ok, I look at the time on my phone at 7:47 pm. Hmmm, I haven’t written I Dd yet. With it being Tuesday evening now at 8:53 pm—a little over an hour by 5 to 6 minutes. Time to put my phone down from playing games and write in my diary before getting some sleep before 11 pm. It is Tuesday evening in Wisconsin and Deb has dropped by for a few minutes to do something for Jackie. Jackie has her colonoscopy tomorrow and she is not looking forward to it. I know I am not looking forward to my colonoscopy in May at Froedert Hospital and Clinics. So, here I am, trying to get an entry in before the stroke of midnight. Finding the right time to write today has almost slipped my mind. I have a good day today. I won’t see Jackie until Thursday unless I hear differently. For the first time, I have not had any anxiety not hearing from Jackie since yesterday afternoon when I got home from dialysis and was wiped out for the first time in a while. Hmmm, I am breathing normally for the first time in the longest time. Deb and I get along pretty good these days. Finding time to write earlier in my day didn’t work out as I hoped, so here I am at 9:10 pm. Do I have a lot to say tonight? Yeah, I do have more to say tonight before going to sleep. I have slept better the past couple of days thanks to two Benadryl capsules.
The Use of Pages (MacOS software)
For some reason, when trying to write my thoughts, feelings, and happenings directly at my diary, my fingers somehow hit certain keys to take me away from the page I am on and that gets me flustered after writing a good chunk and the page disappears right with my unsaved words. From now on I will write my diary using Pages. Since I no longer use MS Word, because I have to pay $6.99 or $ 9.99 a month isn’t necessary anymore, Pages on my iPhone or iPad works just as good. macOS and iOS has Pages, Numbers, and Keynote for free when you purchase Apple products. Yes, Apple products are more expensive than Windows. Don’t worry about what I do know and don’t know as far as Windows and android phones because I do have an understanding of products for Windows and android phones. I’ve used Windows and android phones over 10 years ago. I prefer iPhone, MacBook Pro/Air laptop, and iPad because they are easier to use and the chances of getting a virus or Trojan is less greater than Bill Gates products we know is Windows and android phones. When I did use android, my android phone was a Galaxy Note 3 cell phone. It lasted three years after purchasing it. Yes, iPhones and iPads are more expensive than android phones with Windows and such. For some reason MacOS and iOS is easier for me. You can put an android phone or tablet in front of me and this girl can figure it out by looking at the product. Anyway, although I did not like how Pages layout was compared to MS Word layout at first before when my phone and iPad updated or upgrading their software, I have come to liking how Pages works today. MS365 costs over $100 to buy and the upgrade costs $69 a year. It’s money I don’t always have after all my bills for the internet, cell, and electricity have been paid each month. To me, on a fixed income each month which is social security and SSI. I have to subscribe to Microsoft when using MS Office products. Pages, Numbers, and Keynote are free to use with Apple products. No subscription required with Pages, Numbers, and Keynote. I love it that way. MS Word and Excel, although I’ve used both in the past, can be complicated at times. I’ve seen how PowerPoint works for church program slide shows. I have never made a presentation with PowerPoint or Keynote. I know my pastor. Pastor Swamidass uses PowerPoint for his presentations at church. It’s pretty cool!
So from this day forward. When I write for DD and lose the frustration of Dear Diaries body of words disappears on me because I hit keys that can erase what I had written from beginning to end, I will be using Pages to get my thoughts, feelings, and happenings in my life. My diary is that important to me now and always. Now, I wish Dear Diary would allow us to save what we write as a draft, that will be great, but I think I am only dreaming. Maybe someday like everything else in the world. Yet, Dear Diary is my home away from home when I do write there. In 2001, I was looking for a diary I could park my feelings and thoughts, and haven’t regretted becoming a public diarist. I am one of several diarists with the passion to write and made some friends and acquaintances along the way at DD and Facebook we know as the World Wide Web today.
My Day Today
Before my day gets into Wednesday in 40 minutes, I need to get back on track before getting some sleep, it is 10:20 pm now. My evening meds have been taken and the Benadryl has kicked in a bit. I am getting tired now. At 8:30 pm, I took my evening meds along with Benadryl. It does help me relax and sleep a few hours…
What I did today was sit in my lift chair in my bedroom. That is where I ate breakfast and lunch today. It was a wonderful morning sitting there from 9 am to 12:30 pm when Deb left for the day and coming back by 8 pm to do something for Jackie before leaving again. Debbie will be back tomorrow, Wednesday, around 8:15 am to get me out of bed, dress3d, and go to dialysis at 11 am I had a good day today.
Deb left around 12:30 pm and I got back in bed for the rest of the day and coming. I have been playing Mine Rush and other games on my phone. It does not take much to occupy myself with a game or two to satisfy my gaming nature and Little One’s curiosity inside herself.
Let Me Introduce to You the Little Girl Named Little One
Please let me introduce to you the little girl inside me. This little girl is 3 years old and she comes and goes when she comes in and out. Her name is Little One. Who is she? A little girl who had trouble growing up and I am the surviving baby of twins. Kari, my twin sister did not make it because she was not getting the nutrients from our mother due to the umbilical cord not where it should be for Kari to thrive and grow like me. Because I was born breach and gulp in some cld air coming out, I stopped breathing long enough to contract cerebral palsy being born. Now, probably dreaming this, I saw the hole of my mom’s vagina I was to come out of her belly, and my feet were facing the hole, I was born breach and now, 54 1/2 years laster I am alive (still) to tell my birth story. Little One, no mistake that I can sound like a little girl to this day, my little girl voice comes and goes whenever she wants. People who have heard my adult voice change to a little voice say I could do voice overs. Hmmm? That would be fun. I am thinking about it. Maybe… Little One is the little girl inside me and with what I’ve experienced some traumatic experiences as a child myself, Little One never grew up past age 3. My mom never stopped me from using my little girl voice when I was a teenager because since I am the surviving twin, she four it to be a part of me that found unique in me. I appreciate it.
I Know It Is Late
It is a few minutes past 11 pm now, and I know it’s late now. Benadryl has been helping me relax after 8 pm now. If I can get at least 5 hours of sleep a night, I am good to go the following day. Going to dialysis 3x a week to have by blood cleaned for 2 hours and 45 minutes is part of my weekly schedule I must do. I abide by my doctor’s orders when it comes to dialysis even though I am tethered to a machine for almost 3 hours 3x a week like clockwork. It’s not a full life when you have to be tethered to a machine for 8 hrs and 15 minute a week not too bad in my way of thinking because I am still alive to tell you stories and tell you about my life here at DD (Dear Diary) each day or when I finally write an entry or more. DD is my home, too. I feel I belong here.
Before I leave tonight, I want to write one more thought before closing the shop for the night. Okay, here I go…
One More Thought (Thing) Hopefully
I have other thoughts today that were thought of and about, but it is not the weekend and I do need to get to sleep soon. Anyway, here I am with one final thought of the day I call sleep, ok? S L E E P . . . Okay, here it goes.
I do not consider sleep either overrated or underrated at any given time anymore. As a diarist and a wannabe author of a book someday. We have to be prepared to be up late at night and have some overwhelming days and hours of the day and night to be what they are in our lives. I want to write a book titled A Gift of Life Story about my first kidney transplant after finding out I had total kidney failure at age 17 and at that the time I found out I was real sick I should have been 6 feet in the ground, but God had other plans from then to the present. Hmm? Maybe I am going somewhere with this? Let’s wait and see, okay? It’s late and time for me to say good night.
G O O D
N I G H T