I have been bogged with appointments M-F these past few weeks that last Thursday and today, I finally had a small break from appointments on Thursdays until next week that is. Back to the drawing board they say I guess. Ugh!! Oh well! So, today I took my do nothing Thursday and watched a tv program about famous haunted places, Wicked, Sam & Cat, and Victorious foe a while although comedy is not my favorite genre anymore these days like Cheers, Three’s Company, Happy Days, and. Laverne and Shirley. Yes, the good ole classics of the 70 ‘s and 80’s.
Once again, I have had my phone drop to the floor with it disconnecting to its charger, and I have to wait until morning for Deb to get here in the morning to get me ready most mornings. Thursdays are her day off so Jackie’s here by 9:30 am through 10:00 am after her work at her aunt’s from 5:00 am to 9:30 am.
I Have Decided Something Again!
I have been making some wiser decisions lately or at least trying to anyway. Not only changing my mind about using M365 and using Pages and Numbers, I have to admit it is a relief to have canceled some subscriptions I have been paying a lot for. I can use it for more things like my $3,99 subscription to DD. Thst is and always.be more important to me..
My Writing Meaning Journaling
I have made a decision to cancel a lot of subscriptions online because I need to save more money than I have done in my life through the last couple of years. Some of my decisions have been very difficult and personal lately as well. I am not exactly comfortable with the decision my mom and.caregiver Jackie have made in recent weeks and days, and yes, Jackie has pissed me off to the point that I do want to fire her every week, but it is for the best right now. Yes, I hate it, but I will be okay. I am okay with not having total control of my finances. I need a break right now. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed about things and feel that I am not living my own life although I am on a good day. I have bad days once in a while, too. Ugh!! As a matter of fact and principle, I have been having some bad days emotionally and physically. I will be okay, though. I have DD here, Pages and numbers to write, and friends who understand what I am going through at the moment by reading what I have to say and do to be happy again. Thanks, Dear Diary!
Life In General
I want to admit that life in general is okay, too, even though some days have been questionable for and by me lately, DD is the perfect place for me right now. My decision to leave DD has been questioned modded, but not so today. Dear Diary has been my home for 21 years now and I have questioned myself about that more than once and have spoken to others I trust fully what to keep, put on hold or cancel altogether, and so on. Hard decisions and choices have been most difficult in recent days and nights.
Speaking Of Nights
From now on, by 10:30 pm every night, my tv is being turned off, I take time to journal as the day comes snf goes, and I will find time to write in my thoughts of the day. Whatever comes will decide my thoughts and feelings! DD does not decide for me. I am the diarist here! I need to some journaling each day in order to stay sane, my peeps! I am in t(e need to relax and be safe in my own Homer and skin people!
A Necessary Action
As a decision maker in my own way continue to help myself has been changing my life a little bit, I must admit that biting a bullet or two lately has been very difficult for me and I hate some of the decisions I had to make. In order for some of the harder decisions I had to make is to get my life back to where I am not fighting with my past life anymore of what I could do and now have difficulty doing right now. On a bad day, I think I am not living my life but Jackie’s and dang it all, I need to get out of that dang mentality to be very honest with myself and God. Dang it!
Deciding to turn the tv off at night as well has helped me sleep a little better the past couple of days. With just the sound of my fans running in the room helps drown out any sounds from the neighbors and outdoor noises enough to relax me. When I am relaxed, I jump at the sound of something not going right that second or sudden movements. Whew, enough said…
Good.night, peeps!