With it being a Monday and the beginning of my dialysis treatment at 11:45 am to 2:30 pm, I go through my Monday morning routine of getting my hair washed in the bed basin, get my brace and shoe on to either run to the bathroom or have an underwear change in my lift chair, and get dressed for the day, and have my hair brushed before I head out to the living room to have breakfast. Usually, for breakfast, I get a fried egg sandwich — whether it be on toasted bread or toasted English muffins, and my favorite sweet/hot Famous Dave’s dill pickles. I have pickle mustard and some other flavor mustard to dip my sandwich along with blue cheese or ranch dressing as my dipping sauces. I know that my choices in (sauces per se) are not really sauces, but in my household, it is my favorites in the morning and breakfast is my big meal of the day. I get downstairs by 10:45 am to my medical ride to go to dialysis and then I get there. I am put on my machine on 11:15 am, a half an hour before my scheduled time. The machine goes on until a few minutes before being taken off and no problems arose nor did my blood pressure go below 100/50 but once to 99/54, but my BP went back up to 102/54 until I had 10 minutes left to dialyze. The machine had to finish cleaning my blood until I was unhooked and out the door by 2:15 pm. I was home before 3 pm today for the first time in a long time. It was a very good day at dialysis today, and I know, I do not do dialysis updates in My Life in Words diary, but I did this time around to give you an understanding of daily schedule on a Monday.
Today, while at dialysis, I wrote Jackie a message telling her I want to talk to her about me being overwhelmed lately. This is what I sent her and already she is asking questions as afraid or defensive. My message said this…
I want to talk to you alone when we are together one day this week, okay? I am feeling VERY overwhelmed right now about some things and I WANT to address them to you so we can work my overwhelmed feeling down to a reasonable level. You DID NOT do anything wrong. I just need to talk to YOU about the feeling of being overwhelmed, okay? No raised voices. Okay?
I want my mom in on the conversation if she can be on the phone. Anyway. I have an appointment tomorrow morning in Milwaukee and I will be seeing my primary doctor Dr, Taylor at SSM Health on Thursday at 10:15 am. The appointment for tomorrow is at 9 am and I need ti be there by 8:45 am. I am nervous about tomorrow because it is a colonoscopy consultation for Froedert to do my first ever colonoscopy in my lifetime. Not looking forward to it and will collaborate more on why tomorrow when I have time to write in my journal.