Absolutely, I can help you refine your thoughts into a cohesive diary entry. Here's a polished version:
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**Dear Diary,**
When I make a decision in my life, I stand by it for a good or great reason. However, when I decide against something, it can have crucial consequences for me and those around me. I often find myself in a predicament for days, enduring hurt and ridicule from others around me. It's frustrating because I can't make everyone happy, and I have to prioritize my safety above all else.
When I've been lied to repeatedly, I walk away for good and remain civil only in passing. I will no longer get together for coffee, dine out, or have chat sessions with certain individuals. I struggle to explain my emotions verbally, a challenge I've faced since childhood. My family members, like my mom, know me well enough despite being in and out of my life. My parents have not been the best at parenting, in my opinion, but I still love them. I've always stood on my own two feet, finding other households better than my own through the years.
Despite the love-hate relationship I've had with my dad and my caregiver, Jackie P, it doesn't mean I hate them with a passion or wish them harm. I am not heartless, and I can't fathom how someone would think that way. Although there are heartless people out there, I am not one of them.
This has been on my mind since I was in the hospital in 2019, hallucinating for three days from taking Ativan. It was a scary time for me, my dad, his wife Sandy, my sister, my boyfriend, his mom, and other people who appeared in my dreams that seemed real. This was around the time of President Trump's first four years in office. I was quite ill that week.
Now, with President Trump at the microphone again for another four years, I find myself not in favor of some things nor against others. I am not politically inclined or motivated, but I will fight for what I believe is my right. I am a human being with feelings, and as a disabled woman, I have rights too. When I feel wronged, I will speak my mind the best way I can.
I feel that MercyHealth of Janesville, Wisconsin, has turned a blind eye to my pleas, complaints, and refusals. I feel unheard and ridiculed, as if thrown to the wolves. This is a hard pill to swallow, and I no longer trust the MercyHealth system.