I really wanted to ride yesterday, but decided to give my knees and thighs a rest. I'm kind of obsessed now...but who knows. Maybe the novelty of it will wear off and I'll get bored with it, like most everything I do. Except walking, birding and gardening. I still love to do all three.

It is supposed to be cold and wet all weekend (chance of snow, sigh). Maybe I'll use the rotten weather to get seeds started. I have the trays...I just haven't done anything with it yet because I prefer moving instead of standing still on these first tolerable days of spring. Again, my job gets in the way of doing what I like to do.

I think I'm spending too much time alone. Sometimes I think I'm forgeting how to speak with other people. Yesterday I was on the phone with the vet's office and struggled to explain what I was trying to say. It felt like it had been years since I had a conversation. The only person I speak to every day is honey, on the phone, and he is not much of a conversationalist to tell the truth, because he doesn't keep up substantially with current events like I do. The last time I had a real conversation with someone other than him was April 4! My neighbor doesn't count, because I try to avoid him to avoid his right-wing garbage, so keep any chat brief. I worry that the less I speak to other people, the less able I am to carry on a conversation. ​​I am not lonely, though. My introverted self is just fine being alone. But my intellectual self recognizes that I am losing conversational skills by being alone so much. But then I get into that whole debate in my head that I should join a group (birding, voter rights, church, something) and then talk myself out of it with excuses (you'll be rejected, they'll ask for money, it will get too complicated, it will be too shallow). My head is lose-lose.

I woke up really dragging this morning. Honestly, I just feel really off, and have for a couple days now.