Still haven't received the fecal results. But they did call to tell me they had no resources to provide me on rehoming dog, that I'd just have to call around. Well gee, thanks for calling? 🙄

Woke up at 3am and couldn't get back to sleep. I kept thinking I was smelling poo and finally got up at 4am to check. I was imagining it. It took me a long time to fall asleep again. Even after being outside and walking this morning, I am smelling it. I don’t know if it is real or just locked into my sinuses.

My neighbor, despite my telling him no politics, despite my telling him it stresses me out, decided he could tell 'a joke' he saw on social media. That his dog is a Democrat because it wants free housing, free food and free medical. Before I could stop myself, I grimaced and said Fuck That. (To be honest, I almost said fuck you, instead of fuck that. So I demonstrated some restraint.) And THEN he attempted to tell another 'joke' at which point I interrupted him and reminded him that I did not want to discuss politics with him. Fucking idiot. As he's living off the govt pension from his union job and collecting social security and using medicare, all programs the Democrats have fought to preserve and protect. But I, of course, stand there dumbly because I can't speak/think on the fly. I think that's the part that pisses me off the most, that I can't answer back, even though all the information is in my head. I just stand there dumbly. That is why I never went to law school like I'd desired. Why I never ran for office like I'd desired. And I guess there is something to be said to be thoughtful, def: given to careful thought; reflective. But the thoughtful are never heard when the brash loudmouths rule.

I want to write a semiquincentennial essay for my grandchildren. I want to teach them about this country's founding and importance of protecting this liberal democracy. Because sustaining it will be in their hands, long after I'm gone. But I don't even know where to begin.

Thirty-two years ago today, my 39-yr old sister was killed in a plane crash caused by pilot error and tower control error and bad weather.

I miss her every day.